Love, Lose, And Repeat

RING

If its midnight, and your waiting by the phone, and he hasn't called you yet--even if he usually calls, or he calls when he says he is going to call, he isn't running late, he isn't busy with business, he isn't waiting for you to call him first or for you to test out his new ringtone; he might be: caught in traffic, staying with his mother, or suffering from no service on a mountaintop, but he is definitely...not with his wife, reading his children a bedtime story, or taking too much cough syrup to conk out until tomorrow and he sure as hell better not be avoiding you...now, you might start to think he is unreliable, a bastard even, a dirty, cheating bastard for running around on you; this arrangement, this code of conduct, that he came up with to keep you in line and keep you quiet and keep you wanting more but not asking for it, it isn't going to work either, but he says it will (and he never makes promises he doesn't keep, usually...unless something comes up), and he says be patient, "be patient,will you?" but you still have to wait a little longer, by this phone, waiting for it to ring, holding on to a hope that he is going to dial digits to make you smile, make you laugh, to give you something back, but its almost three and you have work at six, and there's nothing on tv but skinflix; your eyes close themselves but you don't let yourself fall asleep, you won't let yourself fall for the idea--he isn't going to call.