Love, Lose, And Repeat

Loved and the Loveless

“I love Valentine’s Day.” Mindy drew up roses into her arms like she was hushing a baby.
“Whose it from? A bill collector?”
Mindy snatched the red, heart-shaped card away from her sister, “Don't be such a cynic Ramsey, you're such a cynic.”—Mindy glared at Ramsey oversized, brown eyes—“Just because you're single, doesn’t mean you can”
“tell the truth about this pathetic hallmark holiday?” She grabbed her coffee mug and gulped a sip.
“No, It doesn’t mean you get to chew out the rest of us for having a life.”
“Because I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have a life?” Ramsey dropped her cup and let out a grumbling sigh, “I see your priorities are straight.” Ramsey fought back her tongue but it got the best of her, “I’m sure you gauge the quality of your life by the presents under your tree at Christmas too.”
Mindy gridded her teeth and cinched a piece of blonde hair behind her ear “uh uh, no!” –she barely moved her mouth before pasting on a small smile—“Not today, Ram.” Mindy threw her roses on her granite counter, petals flinging bits of themselves onto the floor. "Ever since we were kids, you never let me have anything. You have to shit on everything." She took up her crystal vase from above the fridge, “You are not going to ruin my mood.” She turned to Ramsey,  smacking hands on the counter, ignoring the sting, to make her point.
“Did Tom promise to take you somewhere tonight?” Ramsey's eyes widen while she  watches her sister fling flowers over her head and into the vase. Ramsey just swiped a banana from the fruit bowl in front of her, "I'm sure he won't back out--like he did last year."
“Oh!” Mindy swung around and dried her hands on her, be my valentine apron. Her eyes lit up like a shooting star that waited centuries to poke its head around the planets. She threw her manicured fingers on the table again, “Tom reserved a table at Chez Domingo tonight. The table we sat at when he proposed.”
Ramsey peeled her banana quickly; her smile was hanging on with a smear of sarcastic glue, “That’ll be just like, so much fun.” She rolled her eyes and popped a piece of banana into her mouth.
“What are you doing tonight?” Mindy asked catching a glimpse of the garbage man through her sage curtains with tiny embroidered chicks.
“I am –“
“American Idol is on tonight, isn’t it?” Mindy said smiling, “I have a tub of Chunky Money in the freezer, Tom and I are going to start dieting, and I know you don't like to diet so--“
“No.” Ramsey ran fingers through her brown hair, it was twisted around to one side. She was still wearing her suit from the office, “I am not watching American Idol at home eating a tub of Chunky Monkey—” She fingered her pearl necklace, “Not again. I’m going out tonight.”
“You are? With people?”
“No Min—with a flock of geese.” She saw her sister's glazed over expression, “Yes, with people.”
Mindy walked around the counter and hugged Ramsey from the back, “I’m so proud of you.” –she squeezed her tighter then let go abruptly—“Your finally over Greggy. It’s about time! Its been a month and you even said you saw him and you said it was fine. Not awkward at all.” Mindy grabbed a tiny red watering pot and began watering the Fichus on her bright windowsill, “Hello Mrs. Waters.” She yelled out her half-open window.
“He was picking out an engagement ring.” Ramsey got up from her stool and walked into the sitting room entirely formed from floral and wicker.  “I feel like we never resolved things and it’s hard for me to move on when--”
“I’m just watering my ficus.” Mindy pushed open her window completely and Ramsey felt a cool breeze plow through her. “I will come by sometime this afternoon for it. I am going to make some for my aunt's anniversary party. Give my love to Mr. Waters, dear.” Mindy turned around and placed her watering can on the windowsill, “What were you saying, Ram?”
Ramsey grabbed her large, leather purse from the closet and turned back to Mindy. She went back to hug her sister, still with the watering can in her hand.
“Nothing important.”
Mindy slammed the window shut and threw on pink, pastel oven mitts. "I still have to pick up Susan at daycare and the boys at Soccer. Too bad I can't have you babysit tonight." She laughed a little and waved an oven mitt at Ramsey, “Have fun tonight.”
“I will." Ramsey opened the door as the creaking oven opened in the kitchen. Mindy took out an apple pie glazed and shiny on top.
“Let me know how it is, or preferably, how he is.” Mindy said.
Ramsey swung shut her sister’s door and walked onto the fresh-cut lawn with little plastic flamingos and a sprinkler for the kids. Ramsey had a message on her phone:
"Hi Ram, its Greg. I didn't know what you were doing for Valentine's Day. I thought I'd give you a call, see how you are doing. I miss you, Ram. Cassie is out of town. Lets meet up--like we used to. Give me a call." she shut her phone and put it in her coat pocket. The air was cool, it blew back her dark hair. She took in a long breath and walked back into his sister's house.
"I lied before. I don't have plans tonight. Why don't I watch the kids. Ill rent the exorcist and scar them for life." Ramsey laughed and pulled off her black boots then stripping off her thin coat.
The oven was left open. Her sister's apron was sprawled across the clean, hardwood floor. An Apple pie was tin side up on the countertop. Ramsey called for her sister.
 "Mindy? Is everything all right?" Ramsey heard smashing. In the back bedroom Mindy was picking up plates and cracking them down into the floor.
"He won't be home in time." Mindy said smashing the last plate into the pile of porcelain caking her bedroom floor.
"What are you doing?"
"I kept our wedding china in our bedroom closet." Mindy said running through the house and back to the kitchen, "look at this mess."
"It's all right, Mindy." Ramsey took away her sister's and held it for a second, "I didn't have plans. I came back because saying here was the only way I would stay away from Greggy."
"I can't believe I just did that." Mindy ran mad hands through her hair, "I destroyed my husband's wedding china. What is wrong with me?"
"Nothing Is wrong with you, but, frankly, I don't know why you are surprised." Ramsey sat on the wicker chair in the living room, looking to her sister, "He wants me back, Min."
"For how long?" Mindy picked up her apron and laid it on the counter.
"For the night."
Mindy sat on the windowsill behind her sister. She held her plant in her hands like it were a child. She smiled, "Tom gave me this." It slipped out of her fingers and crashed to the floor, "You shouldn't be with someone like that, Ram."
"Neither should you." She said putting a sensitive hand on Mindy's bare knee. A smile teetered on and then off of Ramsey's face.
"I tell myself every year he will come through," Mindy banged her head back against the closed window. A frail woman walking a terrier passed by the window. "but he never does" Mindy waved, but didn't bother putting on her fake smile for the neighbors. Instead, she looked passed Mrs. Tanner, who lived on the corner, and watched highway cars slow to pay tolls behind lines of cookie-cutter, white houses.
"Leave him." Ramsey slapped her sister's knee and smiled.
Mindy laughed, "You're talking like a single person. I have a mortgage, Ramsey. I have kids that I don't want to just see on weekends. I have a life. Tom is a big part of my life."
Ramsey sat up in the worn wicker. She twisted her head back to watch her sister, but Mindy's eyes were blank pool balls.
"No need to stay, Ram. I have to pick up the kids." Mindy said after a few more minutes of quiet.
"Then what?"
"I don't know." Mindy slipped on a black fleece and zipped it to her chin. She looked down when she let her blonde hair escape from under the crease of her coat.
"Go out with me, Mindy."
"I am too old for that. You go." She squeezed Ramsey's shoulder, "Really go out this time. I'm going to watch Cinderella with Susan and wait for Tom."
"You're staying up? You had these plans for weeks, he makes up some see-through excuse about work, and you are still going to stay up."
"You don't understand." Mindy shook her head. She wasn't pleading with her sister to understand, she wasn't asking her to let it go, she was just telling her the truth.
"I understand that you're pathetic. If this was the first time, I would say: fine, let it go, but he does this on birthdays, anniversaries, he left you waiting at that corner pizza place last New Years for two hours before he called."
"He's busy." Mindy was defeated. She picked up her purse and swung open the front door. Her neighbor's children were on their front lawn chasing each other. She pretended to smile at them then turned back to Ramsey.
"He's an asshole."
"Get out, Ram. Don't do this," She paused to throw her sister's coat up and at her face, "not today."
Ramsey held her coat and her purse and ran out the door without another word, her face was twisted down and her head was shaking. He sun beat down on her low to the ground four-door, silver Ford. She sat inside and smashed her fist against the steering wheel. Her phone vibrated loud and awoke her out of her haze. Three missed calls. She answered.
"Ram? I was starting to think you didn't want to hear from me."
"It's not all about you, Greggy."
"Did you get my messages?" He asked. His voice was husky and rough like a bottle of scotch, if it could talk.
"I got them. You can't come over Greggy."
"Come to my place, Cassie is gone, and I need to see you."
"I don't think that is a good idea." Ramsey lit a cigarette out of her rolled-down window. Her sister accelerated past her in a white mini van with "baby on board" bumper stickers and tinted windows. Ramsey took a long drag before driving out of Mindy's driveway, "I'm going out, baby. If you want to see me, come find me."