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JIYEON OPENED THE DOOR TO HER BALCONY AND STEMMED OUTSIDE INTO THE COLD WINTER AIR. Fog, resembling the smoke from her cigarettes escaped her mouth. The night was cold, gently nipping at her cheeks. The lucid moon and the blinking eyes from the stars watched over her as she stood on her balcony. Never once was she truly alone ━ if that gave her some kind of solace, was something Jiyeon questioned quite often.
Leaning against the railing, Jiyeon's eyes were trained on the road beneath her. The fall wouldn't kill her, it would only leave her with broken bones and stuck in a wheelchair her whole life. Perhaps a sprinkle of trauma and fear for falling after that, too, scattering remnants of PTSD along her cheeks.
Death would be better than not being able to function. No one wanted to depend so deeply on another person ━ at least not Jiyeon, and if it got to the point where she couldn't function, then she'd rather drive a knife through her own heart.
Frost was slowly forming on the railing as the night slowly passed. A breeze ran through her body, the frigid air keeping her at the moment.
Hearing laughter, Jiyeon glanced over her shoulder. Her new neighbour's windows were shut close, yet their incessant laughter could be heard from miles away. The silhouettes of seven people could be seen through the closed curtains, some taller than others.
The balcony was the only clean place in her apartment.
It was not that Jiyeon didn't want to clean her house. She did, she wanted to look neat and tidy. Instead, she was left with a place full of dirty clothes and old boxes from takeout food. It made her feel disgusting. A clean place was human decency and Jiyeon couldn't even live up to that.
Her hands were trembling from the cold.
Door opening, Jiyeon was quick to turn her eyes elsewhere, not wanting her neighbour to see that she was staring at them. Fingers reaching into her pocket, she pulled her packet of cigarettes out.
The flame from the lighter danced along with the wind before sharing its warmth with the cigarette.
She could feel eyes on her. Minor discomfort entered her body ━ being watched was one of the things Jiyeon despised.
With a glance over her shoulder, her eyes met a boy's. A tall young one, a questioning look painting his features. Slightly straightening her back, she cleared her throat and took one last puff of the fucked-up air she loved to breathe.
A sigh escaped her lips before Jiyeon turned around and headed inside, dropping her cigarette in the process before closing the door behind her.
She slowly dragged her feet towards the kitchen and opened her fridge. She had forgotten to buy orange juice ━ and that was somewhat a problem since it was the only thing she drank. Water had an odd and disgusting taste, according to her. Milk was too expensive ━ the good milk, at least. Soda and other beverages weren't her things. Without a second thought, Jiyeon put her jacket and shoes on before venturing out.
As she closed her door, the door beside her opened, revealing three boys.
'Sorry━' one of them apologised, his gaze strong, almost making it impossible for Jiyeon to look into his eyes.
Out of instinct, her lips turned into a friendly smile. 'It's alright.'
'Heeseung-hyung never told us about you,' the same boy noted with a small nod.
'I suppose they aren't close then?'
'How old are you?'
'Nineteen. . .' she trailed off, slowly moving towards the elevator.
The same boy let out a hum, curls of bleached hair falling in front of his eyes. 'We hope you have a good day then,' he said, mirroring her smile.
'You too,' she responded, about to head towards the elevator when a familiar voice stopped her.
'Jiyeon?'
Steps slowing, Jiyeon glanced over her shoulder, eyes finding the same boy with those doe eyes.
About to question how he knew her name, she came to realise that there was a nametag on her mailbox.
'Yes. . ?' she asked, raising her eyebrows in question.
'What are you heading out for? It's quite late,' he said.
'I'm heading to the store,' she answered, the other people seeming to fade into the background.
'Do you want us to accompany you?' Another boy spoke up, a bit shorter than the others with a foreign accent poking through his words.
'I'll be fine,' she reassured them, silently wishing for all of them to leave her alone.
The four boys shared a knowing look, one that made Jiyeon feel a lot more excluded than she should've.
'Okay,' the blond one nodded. 'If you say so.'
Without another word, Jiyeon slipped away from the conversation and out of the apartment, an odd feeling resting in her stomach.
