Ngl I forgot abt this story
*6969 days of testing *
"Edna I don't think you can keep shoving Chemical mixes in side him" bread said
"Shut the fu- " Edna was interrupted by a smell "what is that horrendous smell?!?"
Agent bread sniffs the air intensely, so intense that his ears popped not just that the crack cocaine in the basement heard the sniffing sound and even grew leggs and walked into his nose bread started crying because he is as week as a ball sack-
"Stop crying, who raised you?!?!" Edna yells
"You, mama" he sniffles
"And mama didn't..." she signed for him to finish her sentence
"Mama didn't raise no shrek"
"Correct. speaking Of shrek is he the one that smells like a dead body sprayed with axe body spray"
"Edna!!!! Why am I uncontrollably leaking gas's out of my-"
"DONKEY IS HERE!" donkey fell out of the vents.
"DOKEY?!?" Shrek yells
"You kind of smell"
"I know I think it's Ednas chemicals"
"Like a Baka"
"What"
"I need to sing you a song that I didn't write but it really makes me think of you" all the sudden all the light go out
Music on the piano started playing and a spotlight revealed the gingerbread man playing the piano
Another spotlight revealing donkey wearing a top hat and a bedazzled jean jacket and a tie with a cat on it
"Love songs used to be so beautiful, you know?
"Let us go then you and I, when the evening is spread out against the sky"
"Like a patient etherized upon a table"
T.S. Elliot, beautiful"
"Love songs nowadays just as beautiful, guys, if not more
Justin Bieber, One Direction, Usher, you know them"
"You know their love songs
Beautiful, complex love songs
But these new artists, the J Biebs, the One D's, the Usher's"
A pink gas's is released form shrek's tushine
"They've have done some very strange-
The format, the structure and the purpose of love songs
I tried to capture how they've changed it with this love song
I hope you enjoy it and most importantly, mark the differences"
"Jason Derulo" Jason derulo announces himself
"I love your hair, I love your name, I love the way you say it"
"Wait donkey- " the music stops and the lights turn on " I don't have hair"
"Oh right this was for lord farquaad"
All the sudden shrek turned red and released massive red gass killing every one in the house-
*edna pauses the scene*
"Really a fart YOU KILL ME WITH A FART! We made a deal! YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT!"
*she grabs the contact*
"IT READS! 'IF EDNA SHAL DIE SHE WILL GO OUT WITH A BANG' A FART IS NOT A BANG!"
"Well technically it is" the narrator says
"NO ITS NOT ITS A PFFT" "FRAAAP" "POOT" "BLAT" "THPPTPHTPHPHHPH" "BRAAAP" "BRAAAACK" "FRRRT" "BLAAARP" "PBBBBT" YOU CAN EVEN LOOK THAT UP! I WANTED WAR I WANTED FIRE NOT A FART!"
