A Second Chance

chapter thirty two

Today I was telling Meredith about my engagement to Mark. I was parked outside her house twiddling my fingers together. I don't know why I was so nervous. I exited the car and walked up the doorstep and rang the doorbell.

I was greeted by Meredith who had Zola in her arms

"Hey Lexie!" She spoke with a smile as she let me in the house "why are you here?" She asked as Zola reached out to me

I took Zola in my arms "I have to tell you something Mer" I spoke nervously

"You okay Lex?" She asked pulling me to the living room with her

We sat on the couch and I placed Zola on my lap, she was playing with my hands.

"I Uh" I started and Meredith stared at me

"You're pregnant!" She exclaimed

I shook my head "no definitely not Mer"

Her expression saddened

"Well" I started looking down then back up "I'm engaged"

Merediths face lit up "Finally! I've been waiting for this to happen for ages"

I chuckled with a smile

"Show me the ring" she spoke

I put out my hand and she grabbed it "wow this is so special Lex" She left go of my hand and I put it back in my lap "I am really happy for you and Mark" she added smiling

"Thank you" I spoke with tears in my eyes "it means a lot that you are happy for us" I wiped a few tears away

"Aww Lex, I will always be happy for you" she replied as she wiped my eye.

Meredith pulled Zola and I into a hug. "I love you Lex and I love Mark and I know you two are perfect" Meredith spoke brushing my hair

"Thank you Mer" I replied

We pulled apart and Mer wiped a few tears away again.

"Has Mark told Derek yet?" Meredith asked resting her arm on the couch

I shook my head "No not yet. But I think he will today since they're out together"

She nodded "we should celebrate tonight this is huge Lex" Meredith changed her position on the couch, she was now sitting on her knees

"I don't want a party Mer" I spoke kindly and her face saddened "just a quiet gathering"

"With tequila?" She asked

I laughed "yes you can bring your tequila"

"Can I be at the party?" Zola asked and lifted her head to look at me

I looked back at her "of course you can Zo, you can party with me"

"Yay!" She yelled "I'm going to pick out my outfit" she added and leaped off the couch to go to her room

Meredith and I watched her leave

"You ever think about kids?" Meredith asked as I turned back

"I do sometimes" I confessed and sunk into the couch "sometimes I want kids because Mark is already so great with Sofia but other times I just don't want them"

Meredith looked so surprised "but you're great with kids Lex. You are amazing to Zola and Sofia"

I nodded "I know. I know. I-I-I just" I stuttered "I just, after everything we have been through and all the kids I see dying. I just couldn't put anyone through it"