Wonderland (Kaneki x Touka)

Touka

The night started off simply, I guess. It was to a simple restaurant, discussing simple business and our human lives. It started off smoothly. Kaneki kept continually popping into my mind, and I tried to cast him out.

Kaneki could not be a long term solution to my loneliness. I needed to find someone else. Kaneki would leave again. His business would resume once more. My hands flew up to the necklace he had strung across my skin. The short purple dress I was wearing seemed to complement my eyes, and I stared at myself in the reflection of the windows we passed by.

I appreciated my sleek legs, and my strong body. I was built quite well, actually. "So conceited..." I sighed to myself. I licked my lips as Aku led me through some small backstreets. I stopped when we reached an alleyway. I didn't want to go down an alleyway with an almost complete stranger. I hesitated, and he noticed. He sent me a reassuring smile.

"Come on. I don't bite."

"Well..." We both laughed. I heard a short and sharp laugh come from behind me. Shit. I cursed, over and over. Then a few more times, just to be safe.

"No." I blurted as I turned to see the doves. I hated these assholes. They would always manage to find me whenever I was unprepared. "Oh, ho... what do we have here?" I felt the pull of a quinque, but it didn't seem to be very dangerous. These guys would be easy to kill. I stared them down, and Aku shoved me towards them. "It's her you want! She's been working with eye-patch!" He pushed me one last time, and I saw something slide through the two men. I looked up to see Kaneki, and I grinned at him. He slowly slid down from his kagune, and they whipped around behind him, two thin red lines that almost blurred with his movements.

"I trusted you..." He walked towards Aku. I grabbed his arm, and he balked. "You pushed her towards them!" He snarled, his chest rumbling with his anger. His kagune seemed to slap against the ground, just between Aku's feet. He could snap at almost any moment now, and then Aku would be dead.

I needed Aku alive. I didn't say I wanted to go on a date because I liked him. No. I needed answers. "Kaneki. Listen to me." I grabbed his shoulder. He shrugged me off with a grunt. "Kaneki!" I yanked him towards me, his kagune slicing my stomach roughly. "You bitch." I grumbled as I leaned against him. He seemed to snap out of his temper tantrum. "Oh god. Touka.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Keep him alive. I need him alive." I breathed. He just nodded, his white hair shaking wildly as it followed his movements. I felt him picking me up smoothly, and then I felt something wrapping around me. Like soft clouds. Was this his kagune? I stared at the razor sharp red lines, and they seemed to be touching me so softly... barely brushing my skin. He was incredible. It was like floating in water, with sharks surrounding you. A small slip and you could end up dead, but if you enjoyed the moment you would be happy it happened.

Boy, was I glad it was happening. The feeling of rising up towards the clouds and floating was almost euphoric. It drove my senses insane. I needed to see more, to be with Kaneki, to have more. I stared up at the moon as I listened to them bickering below me. Ah, it was a sweet sound. Almost like a song. Kaneki would bite his lip when it came to talking about doves, Anteiku, or me. He didn't discuss our private life, and he most certainly didn't talk about his kagune. He didn't seem to mind the risk he was taking, but he would need his fists to fight if Aku decided to jump him. Fists were quicker than his kagune.

Sometimes.

"Hey, Kaneki... why do you love Touka?"

"I already told you I won't talk about that stuff." Kaneki retorted. I'd heard that line so many times tonight, yet it seemed strangely adorable.

"You're no fair. You know everything about me. You know why I love Touka." He whined. I sighed, the clouds swirling harmlessly above us. I wondered what it would be like to be a cloud. Would it be peaceful? Or tiring? Having to run and move all the time? I closed my eyes to the soft sound of Kaneki's voice.

"You only think you love her."

"No, I definitely love her. I want to be with her forever, and I want to protect her. I want to always be her number one, but I don't want to get in the way of her life. She needs freedom, you know?"

"Freedom to date other guys?"

"Of course."

"So if you love her so damn much - then you'll let her stay with me."

"No."

"You just said she needed freedom."

"She needs freedom with me, and everyone except you. You're a terrible influence on her."

"I am not." Kaneki huffed.

"You are. It's your fault she's always getting attacked by these doves. They seemed one hundred percent more interested in capturing her when I mentioned you."

"No. She goes out with strange men who throw her under the bus when doves arrive. She needs to stay with me so I can protect her. Which you failed to do; miserably."

"I didn't!" Aku sounded as if he was pouting. I felt the world slowly slipping away from me, and I smiled.

"Oh, isn't that peaceful?" I whispered as I raised my hand up to the sky. I needed something to eat. I'd been getting so much weaker. Having Kaneki around to protect me had really made me weaker. I needed to get away from that safety for a while. I needed to train back up once more.

"What's nice?" Aku asked, and Kaneki lowered me down to them. I smiled at him.

"I don't know. Something felt nice."

"Do you need to eat?" Kaneki asked. I nodded, and he ripped off the side of his shirt. As delicious as he was...

I shouldn't...

He shouldn't offer himself so willingly...

I shouldn't eat from him. It's wrong.

He'd be saving me again.

There was nothing wrong with being saved every once in a while.

Of course not. Especially since you love him so much. It's only fair that you two help each other out. But if you're weak... you can't save him. He could die right before your eyes because you failed to complete your training. You could watch his kagune fail to regrow, and you could witness the death of the person you love most.

My teeth sunk further into his flesh.

You need to train again. Once more, take to the field and take out doves. You need to get stronger.

Much, much stronger.

Strong enough to help Kaneki.

Strong enough to fight alongside him.

Strong enough to live.