danger >> luke hemmings

chapter thirty-nine

Luke's POV

I walked downstairs fully dressed in a red-black checkered shirt, a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans and some shoes. The livingroom was empty so I figured somebody would be in the kitchen. As I thought, I found Michael crawled into the fridge, searching for food.

''You know the good stuff are in the cabinets right?'' I chuckled as Michael popped out and gave me a weird look.

''So, are you going to hand out with me or are you going off today again?'' he muttered and walked up to a cabinet across the kitchen and opened it as his green eyes glistened slightly at the bright colors of the candy.

I sighed low and cursed myself under my breath. For the last couple of weeks I had been feeling like shit. Practically every day I had spent time with Mackenzie. I shrugged uncomfortably just at the thought of it. And everytime I got home I felt like I was a lying bastard. I come home and Taylor greets me with a smile. Oh my god, that smile could lighten even the darkest of days.

''You know they're starting to really wonder what's going on..'' Michael said as he stuffed his mouth filled with skittles. He motioned me to sit down as he took a seat himself. I obliged and sat down as I offered myself a handful of the colorful candy.

''I know they do, but Michael you can't tell them.'' I said harshly giving him a look and he groaned loudly.

''Why not Luke? You don't even realize how this is affecting not only you but everyone living here.'' he stated,obviously upset.

''Michael you don't understand..'' I started but he cut me off.

''No Luke, you don't. You have no idea. You think that the more you're trying to keep her safe, the better the situation is. You're going to realize too late that you're pushing her away.'' Michael said angrily. I was slightly suprsied at the harsh tone he was using. 

''W..what do you mean?'' I asked and started pulling slightly at the wrapper of the skittles. 

''Luke, when you come home Taylor is so excited to see you but the way you treat her makes her whole aura sink. As soon as you push her away you can see it hurting her even if it's not written all over her face.'' Michael said and pushed some purple skittles into his mouth.

At first I wanted to growl at him for making such a statement, he didn't know how she felt. But I realized, he was right. It suddenly gawked on me that I had been pushing her away from me more than I thought I had.

I wouldn't accept the fact that a cruel, lying, asshole like me could never deserve Taylor. She was being too kind and caring for me when she deserved someone a hell of a lot better. Everytime I came home after one of those days that I'd spent with Mackenzie, I couldn't even look her in the eyes. I was too ashamed of myself. A worthless piece of shit like me didn't even have the right to be around her. I didn't want to push her away from me, but I couldn't stand the thought that she cared so much for me when I clearly isn't worthy of her.

''I have been pushing her away, haven't I?'' I asked Michael softly while I kept staring at the wrapper in my fingers.

''I know why though..'' he sighed. ''I've seen the way you've been feeling Luke. I feel it too you know. You feel you don't have the right to even look at her for being such an angel when you're doing something with Mackenzie that's clearly very wrong.

''Michael what am I going to do? I can't keep meeting Mackenzie.'' I said looking up at him with a pleading gaze. He clenched his jaw together.

''I don't know either. You've been putting yourself in such a mess.'' he said low and shrugged.