My Own World

The Weekend

Saturday. How I always await your arrival! My day of FREEDOM! I'll be hanging out at Kelly's today. Unless we decide to go shopping. Then we'd be at the mall (duh). So, yeah. We'll see how this turns out...

So Kelly and I did decide to go to the mall. And I was right; she's a nervous wreck. She was telling me she has a feeling that Tanner's cheating on her. Now, I've known Tanner a LONG time and that really doesn't sound like him. At all. But I just try to reassure Kelly that he woudln't do something like that. Cause I don't think he would. Ever. Especially not to Kelly.

While we were at the mall, we actually saw Tanner and JD in Hot Topic. But I did as Kelly wished and didn't go say hi or anything. They didn't even notice us.

After Kelly and I had the conversation about Tanner earlier, I thought it'd be best to have him swing by my house. So when he came by, we went into my room to talk about it all. All I said was along the lines of 'Kelly thinks you're cheating on her'. His response? And this is straight out of his mouth, "Wow. Why does she not trust me all of a sudden? She better not turn into one of those insecure little bitches. Cause I hate people like that." Kelly is an extremely confident person, and he doesn't literally hate people who are insecure, but one thing I know he loves about her is her confidence. All I could do is listen. And watch him throw my rubber band ball in the air. Then catching it. He was laying on my bed, while I sat Criss Cross Applesauce against my head board. He happened to have a lot to say. And to me. That's when it hit me though. I still liked this boy in my room. If I didn't I wouldn't have asked him to come. For me to help him. I would just have let Kelly dump him. But I'm better than that. I just wish I was the first pick. But apparently not.

You see, I'm not the type of girl who stalks her crush, especially since I tend to be friends with my crush. But like every girl, I like talking about my crush to my friends. But I can't very well do that! If Kelly's that insecure as it is, she doesn't need this on top of everything. She is my bestfriend. So I'll hold back on it for now...

Tanner just talks and talks. Which is good. I don't mind. I listen. He starts convincing himself it's not going to last much longer with him and Kelly. I try to get him off of that thought. Cause I'm just that nice. Yup.

He leaves, and it's been nearly four hours  since he first came over. I have never met a boy with so many worries/concerns/problems/theories and so much to say concerning their relationship! Wow. That boy sure can talk.

I call Kelly, again trying to reassure her that everything is fine with Tanner. But in my mind, I think Well, he has a lot of problems. And a fair amount of them do deal with you. But I don't dare say that to her. I love Kelly, but I wouldn't tell her that. Too much to absorb. And I obviously also wouldn't do that to Tanner; he has been like my brother way before Kelly even came here. This relationship is obviously ending soon. I'm going to have to be both of those kid's shoulders. That's for sure.

SUNDAY

Today I'm just hangin' with BIG Char, Van, and Owen. Justin went over to Derek's (THE HOTTIE!) and mom has a job interview! So what do we do? LASER TAG! The best part is we are allowed to each invite a friend. Van brings Trevor (he's also hot!), Owen brings his new friend Ash (whom I've never met, or heard of even), and I invite Christon. So we all pack into the mini van (cause we haven't gotten the chance to break out the jeep yet) and drive like twenty minutes to shoot red lights at eachother. Sometimes we do paintball, but paintball season hasn't started quite yet at the place we go. So we just do the indoor laser tag!

One of my favorite parts of laser tag is actually getting to see the owner. He's this big white guy who always wears vans and a straw fedora type of thing on his head. He's also a ginger! Yeah he's kind of awesome. And whenever he sees me, he just shouts, "It's my girly, Char-Char!" (which would be creepy if he was under the age of sixty-five, but he is not). Haha. Yeah.

Today, Christon happens to win. In the car, everyone just keeps saying, "Who invited him?" and we jsut laugh. And after dropping off our possee, we (like we do on every Sunday) stop to get frozen yogurt! I always get snickerdoodle and cake batter yogurt, but today, THEY DON'T HAVE SNICKERDOODLE! If you ask me, this is an outrage! So I just settle for cake batter and red velvet. It was okay, I guess. It just had to do... We sat inside, enjoying our mix, when KATTY KAITIE WALKED IN! What is she doing here? In public? With her parents? I thought she was too cool to be seen with her parents. She luckily didn't notice me. I don't want to cause anything. Not with BIG Char around. I wouldn't want to disappoint him or anything like that. When I glance over at her, I see she has a COLASAL mountain of yogurt and toppings. I hope that goes straight to her ass. Okay, wait. That sounded really mean. Forget I said that. But she wouldn't be so perfect then, would she? Shortly after, we leave. And some how she still hasn't noticed me. I mean, a girl with long, bright red hair? Is it that hard to notice? I'm even here with a skinny six foot four grown man, an adorable little brunette, and a skater with black skinny jeans on! We're just begging to be made fun of! She's probably just ignoring me. For the first time. Finally, right? Yeah; wouldn't that be nice all the time?

Jammin' out to Swordfish in the privacy of my own bedroom. I'm so glad I don't have a sister, cause I'd probably have to share my room (like Van and Justin). That would send me UP A WALL, I swear! But yeah. I'm just chillin' otherwise. Which reminds me. I promised to hang out with Cami after school tommorow. She's been having a rough time at home lately. So I told her she could hang here, and spend the night if neccesary (even though it would be a school night). You see, about two weeks ago, Cami started to appear at school with bruises on her arms and legs. She kept telling us it wasn't a big deal; that she had a rollerblading accident. But Stephy was telling me how when she was at Cami's not too long ago, her dad was drinking a lot, and when Cami walked away from him, he roughky grabed her arm. There isn't solid evidence of abuse or anything, but better be on the safe side. We also don't bring it up to Cami. We just try to be there for her. The idea just sickens me. This also seemed to start right around the time her mom moved out of town. Far away.

Now I'm trying to decide what to wear to school tommorow. Red shorts with Ramone's shirt? Maybe... maybe or maybe I should just wear ripped black skinny jeans with a red shirt? AHHH! Decisions are too difficult! I'll jsut have to decide in the morning I guess....Blah....