My Own World

I Hate Mondays

It's a morning. Of a Monday. I hate mornings, especially Monday's. Not a fan. So I've decided on the shorts and t-shirt idea from last night. It's hot out. So...yeah. I literally ran out the door this morning. I guess that's the problem with waking up an hour later than usual. I grab my waffle and rush to Kelly's, so we can walk to school like usual. On our way, Kelly brings up Tanner, and was asking me (for the BILLIONETH time!) if I knew anything. I'm not telling her any of what he said, since they are both my friends and he's just going to have to man up and say them to her. If they break up, they can do it themselves. I really don't want to get in the middle. All I know is our lunch table is going to suffer if they can't keep it together. Who's side would I even want to be on? I don't even want to think about that...

The morning has flown by. It's already lunch! And (not surprisingly) our lunch table has changed. Instead of having Christon on one side of me and Tanner on the other, Tanner had Christon scootch over a seat so Tanner was on my opposite side. Then Stephy moved and sat at Tanner's old seat. Really complicated, I know. But it was actually all Kelly's idea. I think Kelly was hoping that becasue she won't sit next to him, he wouldn't sit at our table. I think she foregets he has other friends, and his closest are at the table (he has friends who sit at other tables, of course, but we are his closer friends). Yeah, she's still convinced he's either cheating or just keeping things from her. I just can't see him being that type of guy. But what do I know, right? But that's why Kelly had Stephy sit where she did. Just to see where he would go. Whatever. I can tell Tanner is just getting madder as lunch continues.

It's Social Studies. I get a note thrown on top of my notebook. It's (of course) from Kelly. It just says Come to the bathroom . I notice her get up with the bathroom pass. This isn't the first time Kelly and I have done this. So I know I have to wait approximately two minutes before I should go. One. Two. Okay. Go time. I easily slip out. And in the bathroom, Kelly is on top of the counter. Crying. That's when she tells me. Tanner broke up with her. Which happens to be huge deal; even if you aren't friends with us. You know about Kelly and Tanner's relationship. Because remember the rumor about me? Well there were some about them, too. But everyone thinks their relationship is (well, was) adorable. And Kelly can barely talk through tears. I have to remind her about class, though. So with that, she calmed herself and left the bathroom; leaving just me to wait.

Cami and I walk home. And I did convince her to spend the night. I just texted BIG Char that her parents had an urgent business call and had to rush out of town. On our way to my house, we pass by Tanner on his bike. Well, he passes us, I should say. I call after him, and he shuffles back to us. He's sitting on his BMX bike, walking his way right next to us. I ask him about the day. He just says, "I was just done with all this shit. So I dumped her ass. So let's see if she'll be able to sleep without the conscience of anyone." Kelly doesn't always do well single. She feels more comforted when she has a partner. Always has. And that is what he refers to. I was actually pretty surprised he was saying that stuff. Mainly since he knows we are best friends. Tanner ended up walking all the way to my house. So I told him he could stay. So it was Cami, Tanner, and I hanging out. But of course, it's Monday; the day Owen's little study group is over. So in a house where only four children live, there end up to be more like ten. BIG Char can handle it though. Owen and his friends are at the table, so Cami, Tanner, and I head upstairs to my room. Tanner had been pretty quiet the rest of the way home, and when we were sitting in my room, he started talking again. It was actually when Cami went to the bathroom that he asked me, "Do you think it was wrong for me to break up with Kelly?". Now. He's practically making me pick sides right now. So I just sit there for a second. "I wouldn't say it was wrong. If you weren't happy, then that's all the reason you need." I noticed him smile a little; for the first time today. "Yeah I guess. Yeah. You're right. Why would I be in a relationship with someone if I'm not happy?" Well. It sounds like what I just said put me on his team. But I said I'm not picking sides. So I won't. And that's when Cami poped back in.

We talked for awhile, then we went downstairs. We find ourselves in the middle of the table being set up for dinner. BIG Char sees Tanner about to open the door to go, but he asks Tanner to stay. Tanner says he'll just go, but BIG Char seemed to really want him to stay over. So he did. I know BIG Char would never admit this, but he loves Tanner. He really does treat Tanner like a son of his. That's why BIG Char wants Tanner to sit right next to him. Yup. So not only a re-arrangement at lunch, but also at the dinner table. After our enjoyable meal, Tanner heads home; riding his BMX through the sunlit streets. This will sound really cheesey, but he was practically riding through the sun set. Man, do I love that boy.

So Cami and I are all set for bed, and BIG Char knocks on the door. He then says, "Just makin' sure you girls are all set." I nod my head. He smiles and flicks off the lights. He stands in the doorway for a minute. "You know, Tanner is welcome whenever. He's like one of my own. You jsut let him know that, okay?" I smirk. "Of course I will." Then I see him smile. "Love you, girls." He closes the door, and we are left in darkness; on my king sized bed. Cami rolls over, facing me. "Do you like Tanner?" Uh-oh. Should I tell her the truth? Not yet. "No." I shake my head. She then wished me good-night and rolled back over.

I'm not telling anyone about Tanner. Not yet. It's much too soon.

I just don't understand. Why do I have a crush on my best friend's ex? Then again, I liked him before. First. Back in, like, fifth and sixth grade. Yeah. I actually had a HUGE crush on him. I just thought he was adorable, and so funny. And he was my best friend. I guess he just didn't like me in that way....

I was practically asleep when my phone rang. Cami shot up, as I reached for the line. When I answered, I heard Kelly's voice. She was crying. When I finally calmed her down enough, she explained to me the problem. But what she said didn't make sense to me. She had said her father was sent to jail? I didn't ask any other questions. I just tried to comfort her. But I (myself) was in shock! Whatever he did, I can't believe. He is not the type of person that would have to be locked up in a dingy jail cell. And I've known him for a long time.