Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Chapter 23 - What if this is my Life now?

Later that Night;
Shayne Ackles...

The very first thing that I was aware of was the sense that someone was watching me - the prickling feeling of eyes roaming my naked frame tore through my subconscious like a bullet through flesh. Instantly my other senses flooded my system - the scent of sandalwood permeated the air around me. Sandalwood had once been a reminder of love and comfort and safety. It was Jonah's scent - one that I associated with him and solely him because I didn't know any other man who wore that scent

If I am smelling that now, did that mean he was here!?

Was Jonah here right now?

A shiver snaked down through my body, my naked body. Why am I naked? I never sleep naked. What is happening? The first tendrils of fear began to rise from my gut heading straight for my heart. My eyes squinted open in the moonlit room to find my ex standing over my naked body - he was completely naked, his hand fisting his cock, trying to rise to the occasion.

The venom in his eyes had me squirming and that was when I realised that I was completely subdued - small wooden stakes were embedded into each corner of my mattress, rope tied my arms and legs to each post, the roughness of the rope chaffed my wrists and ankles as I struggled in their hold, desperately thrashing in an attempt to break free as Jonah began to lower himself on to my body. "No! No! Please don't do this again. I don't want it Jonah - please don't!" I begged him. Those tendrils of fear now wrapped around my heart and began to squeeze with all the strength of Goddamn steel. I was wriggling and trying to fight him and that was when his rancid scotch laced breath blanketed my face and once again, I was immobile, frozen in complete fear with no means of escape.

"Shayne!"

"Shayne!"

"Shayne!" Each rendition of my name morphed into another voice, the scene above blinking in and out of existence until the voice pierced the veil, "Shayne... it's Jeremy, you're dreaming, sweetheart..."

I tore free of the restraints of the dream with a gasp and flung myself at Jeremy, who was gently shaking me awake - ripping me away from the nightmare that had felt so completely real. My eyes moved to each corner of my mattress, "what's wrong?" Jeremy asked, his arms holding me firmly but with enough gentleness that I didn't feel trapped - how did he do that?

"I-I- was-uhm-," I stumbled, anger and frustration clashed inside me, shame added a sense of melancholy that threatened to drown me completely, "nothing -,"

"Hey -," softly his hands rose to my shoulders, and he gently pushed me backwards until he was looking, me straight in the eye, "it's just me here, you can talk to me, you know that right?"

"I-I- just - he was here, he-he had me tied to 4-little wooden-stakes that were punch-punched into the mattress, so I-guess-I was -,"

"Checking to make sure they really weren't there?"

"Yes, it's stupid I know -,"

"No, not stupid, sweetheart," he offered, his hand tenderly brushing the hair away from my damp face and it was at that moment I realised that I was soaked with sweat but at least the fear was melting away with every breath that I took now that I was awake.

I can't deny that, that nightmare had felt far too real and if Jeremy hadn't woken me when he did, I feared what would have happened - would I have woken on my own, or would I have been subjected to being raped all over again in my subconscious? I didn't think I could survive another rape, real or imagined.

My hope that the pills the doctor prescribed would help, seemed to dwindle as I thought about the fact that this was my first night even taking them. I guess a part of me has hoped that they would ensure I didn't dream and that the effects would be instant. I wanted a quick fix and I wanted it now but clearly that wasn't going to be happening anytime soon and that scared me more than anything else. Because what if this was my life now?