I know I'm not posting anything and I'm really sorry about it. My memory is getting worse and keep forgetting that this even exists. Honestly I'm not sure why I'm forgetting things more easily. It's such a pain in the ass though. A small example first so I don't overload y'all. This is my warning this chapter is probably gonna get dark real fucking quick.
Example:
I'll be on TikTok as most people are. I'll see some angsty post or my ex on my fyp and become sad. Say five or ten TikToks down and I've forgotten but the feeling of emptiness remains. So out of curiosity of what could've made me so sad and feel like an ice cube in the sun, I go back up and find it. Of course because I've forgotten I rewatch it and I live through it again. Sometimes this happens multiple times. It's really painful and I hate it.
Now that you've seen the small example let me tell you how this effects me and my day to day life. Now I've been hurt a lot. Mainly when I was younger because it's easier to mess with a child who can't stand up for it's self. So when that child finally finds it's voice you don't want to be held accountable. And that's where gaslighting comes in. I've been told so many times that the only memories I have from when I was younger are all fake and that the adults never did that to me. I was told I was being dramatic and exaggerating everything. Everyone did it so much that it's to the point where if I'm telling the truth or if I'm really faking it. All of the gaslighting is starting to catch up with me and I'm scared I'm gonna forget who hurt me and go back to them. I'm gonna go back and regret it. It's terrifying man. I'm losing my mind.
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This is a draft I forgot to post.
See what I mean?
YOU ARE READING
Life is weird
RandomHi I don't know what you were expecting But this is not a fan fiction. This is about life, mine in specific. Because it is mine and well It's life there is gonna be a lot of triggers of everything and anything. Other than that read ig I don't care.
