I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to myself honestly.
This time I'm pretty sure I'm right. I really don't want to be. For context I'm pretty sure I have seasonal depression. I'm doing my bed to stay positive but it's not going well. I'm missing 17 assignments and they are just piled up. My gender dysphoria and my face dysmorphia are catching up to me. Not to mention the star of the show the one and only imposter syndrome. I'm really trying not to forget but it's getting hard to remember. I keep telling myself that I'll make it to the big world of influencers amd all that but I have to be alive to do that. My motivation for anything is just gone. I can't sleep but at least I'm eating somewhat better. I've done my best and I really hope it's enough to get through the seasons. I'm trying to find somewhere that'll fire me but my mom keeps degrading me and I really wish she would stop.
Ngl I'm glad I still have this outlet. After I lost my friend who was the therapist of the group I had to go back to my old job of being the mom and therapist of the group. Although there's not that many people any more. We lost half of our group. God it's been so messy. I really just want to be a kid again. I miss when earlier in the year I felt that for about a week before life hit me again. It was so pleasant and sweet. Like a warm hug from my mom when it was good. Kinda. I really hope this doesn't find the wrong group. The last thing I need is someone telling me I'm over sharing online. No shit Sherlock that's the point.
It's not all bad. My birthday was recently and the best thing is, nothing fucking happened. That's really depressing now that I think about it lmao. It was nice though. I just got to do what I wanted. I slept in, went to Walmart, went to the mall, went home, and went back to sleep. There was no fighting, no worries, and no one was high. It was nice.
That's enough for me, I'm gonna try to remember but if I don't oh well. Imagine if this was the last things I posted before dying. What a funny idea. Not gonna happen though. I'm gonna make it and maybe one day this will be a rumor that so and so wrote this. Until then goodnight and take care of yourself.
YOU ARE LOVED.<333
YOU ARE READING
Life is weird
RandomHi I don't know what you were expecting But this is not a fan fiction. This is about life, mine in specific. Because it is mine and well It's life there is gonna be a lot of triggers of everything and anything. Other than that read ig I don't care.
