I'm BAAACKK!!!!
Caution: dirty-ness
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!
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PICK UP LINES:
Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?
I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.
Have you heard of Platform 9 and 3/4? Well, I can think of something else with the exact same measurements.
If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.
My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!
I know we're not in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.
My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
Being without you is like being afflicted with the Cruciatus Curse.
Hagrid's not the only giant on campus, if you know what I mean.
Your name must be Severus Severus, because you're making my prince full blood.
Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready.
I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky.
Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.
If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together.
You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone.
You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell.
I'm not wearing an invisibility cloak, but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?
I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
You don't even have to say "Luminos Maxima" to turn me on!
Have you been using the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you've made me stiff.
Whaddya say you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?
Do you want to head to the Shrieking Shack? We could do some shrieking of our own.
Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?
Come on, let's do it Hippogriff style!
One night with me and they'll be calling you MOANING Myrtle.
You can have the portkey to my heart.
Come here, I'll show you a REAL Patronus.
I'd let you handle my wand any day!
Is that a wand in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
YO MAMA JOKES:
Yo mama's so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.
Ya mama's so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.
Yo mama's so fat that a wingardium leviosa spell couldn't lift her.
Yo mama's so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!
Yo mama's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!
Yo Mama's so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.
Yo Mama's so ugly, everybody calls her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked"
Yo mama's so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark on them
Yo mama's so dumb that a stupify spell actually made her smarter.
Yo mama's so poor she had to go to the Weasley's for a loan.
Yo mama's so ugly, she thought that Hogwarts were the growth on her thigh
