The Perfect Namja

Chapter 8: Unwrapping The Real Him

               “NamJoonie, Why does Jimin call you Monnie?” “Well, I used to rap back then… Just for fun… That was my rapper name” “Ooh! Monnie” “Yeah I was RM” “That’s awesome, do you remember any raps? Will you rap for me, Namjoon?” “…” he just blushes. “Please RM” you give him a wide-eyed look. “Okay, but you have to play piano for me, I’ll rap over it.” You smile with glee, taeking a seat at his grand piano. You begin to play A Minor for him because u C Major Talent.

RM raps an original song called Voice,

난 꿈이 없었지       내 가사처럼 맨날 그런 식       내게 답을 주지 못했던 함수와 방정식
그것들은 결국 수많은 해가 되었네                                그 빛으로 뒤에 숨은 별을 볼 수 없게 해
그렇게 하루하루 날 죽여가며                         뜻도 없이 한우 등급 같은 숫자놀음에 종일을 매달려
난 그저 성공하고 싶었어                                                 남들에게 지겹게 들었던 말이 그것뿐이어서
행복이란 신기룬 거기 잡혀있을 줄 알았지    하지만 책상 앞의 난 단 한 순간도 행복하지 않았지
어머니 몰래 문제집 사이에 백지를 끼웠네                 드럼 베이스에 맞춰 써 내려가던 나의 정체
성적표를 받을 때완 다른 숨 쉬는 느낌                            1등을 해도 내 맘은 늘 편치 못했었지
남들이 원하는 걸 꼭 원할 필요 있는가                            난 한평생 한이 담긴 한숨 쉬며 살기보다
한을 떼어내고 그냥 숨을 쉬며 사는 길을 택했어           다 손가락질했네 얄팍한 나의 주위에선
내 꿈은 나의 목소릴 모두에게 주는 것                           내가 어떤 모습일지라도. 내 음악과 가사로
이걸 듣고 있는 니가 어떨지 잘 모르지만                날 욕해도 좋아 결국 너도 날 또 찾게 될 테니까
그래 7년이 지나도 5만원짜리 마이크로                  여전히 방 한 켠에서 혼자 만들어낸 믹스테잎
Some say i‘m fake 그래 인정한다 나의 흑역사        변명할 수 있지만 안 해 다신 그딴 일 없을 거야
Yeah I be real 이 순간 내가 절실히 바라던 일                        7년간 밟아오던 페달에 드디어 기름칠
You can‘t kill. Come take it if you do wanna piece of me.    오직 음악으로 말해 딴 분야 따윈 일 없지
If you really think you ready to fly with my power                  This is what r is about fella the time is now

He gets closer and his hands cup your face as he sings to,

남몰래 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워.                                       알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
다시 한 번 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워.                                 알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게
남몰래 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워.                                        알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게             
다시 한 번 나의 목소리의 볼륨을 키워.                                  알 수 있게 네게 닿을 수 있게

               The two of you are inches apart, he pulls you in for a soft kiss. “NamJoon you are incredible.” “I mean, I’m a decent kisser” he says laughing. “Oh! You are, butt I’m talking about your music. You are a genius and a brilliant rapper. You could pursue this professionally. Your lyrics are poignant and potent. You’ve poured your heart into it.” NamJoon sees you teary eyed as a ray of sunlight lights up your face.
              A tear trickles down his cheek as he taekes a seat at the piano with you. “Yah neo Meghna, I can be myself with you. I don’t have to pretend I’m happy when I’m sad. I don’t have to pretend I’m strong when I am hurt. I always wished for a love as perfect as our love. I wished love was perfect as love itself, I wished all my weaknesses could be hidden. Now, I grew an enchanted flower who bloomed, maeking my dreams come true.”
              “I wanna be a good man, just for you. I’ll give the world, just for you. I change anything , just for you” “Kim NamJoonie you don’t have to change anything, you are the Perfect NamJa.” “Yah neo, I found myself again with you.” “I Love you so bad” “I Love you so bad. I Love you so mad.” “I Love you so mad”
              You feel the room burn but you’re are cold like you’ve been hit by a gush of water. He’s so sweet, it’s like sinking into a huge pile of snickers. The walls are shimmering. He smiles and says, “I Love You This is not Fake love, not Fake Love. This is Pure, Pure Love” Sparks fly.

              “Thank you for existing Meghna Mizuki. Call me, I’ll buy you dinner!” “My only wish is you NamJoon” “That can be arranged, Miss Mizuki” he says cheekily, raising an eyebrow. Y’all decide on pizza. Jimin, Jungkook and Jin namjoin y’all for supper. Pizzas all around.
              Jungkook playfully asks, “Jin-Hyung do you always eat so much?” He replies, “JK, Tell your mom Jin taught you how to eat. Shove everything into one bite, Trust me!” Jimin interjects, “Jeongguk if you eat like that, you won’t be so fit anymore.” Jin acts offended, “Jimin-ah, After each meal I exercise for three hours.” Jimin turns to Jin, “Our Jeonggukie is the fittest.” Jungkook responds, “Hyungs, I run, run, run. I can’t stop. Run, run, run again. I can’t help it. This is all I can do anyway. It’s okay to fall. Run, run. Run, again. It’s okay to get hurt.” Jin’s in awe and says, “Macnae, Make me run, Make me run more. Let my feet rip apart with wounds. At least I can I smile when I see you.”
              NamJoon turns to you once they leave, “You’re my sun, the one and only in this world. I bloom for you, but you make me thirsty. It’s too late, too late. I can’t live without you. Even if I’m drying out, I try harder to reach you. All I know is how to love you”

Later That Evening:
              “Joonie, will you show me your raps? You are a writer and clearly a lyricist as well… Can you show me what you’ve written?” “Fine… My parents’ house made up one realm, this realm was familiar to me in almost every way, Mother and father, love and strictness. Model behaviour and school. This was my secret. My other realm.”
                “Follow me.” He leads you to his bedroom once again and bends down, pulling out his albums once again… Those papers you saw earlier, they’re his precious raps. “These are pieces of the real me. My rap name was Rap Monster-RM butt now it’s RM-Real Me.”