The Perfect Namja

Chapter 6: First Love

              NamJoon’s driver drove you back home, butt he tagged along to taeke care of you and see you home safely. In the backseat, y’all can barely keep your hands of each other. He’s got one hand on your thigh and the other on the small of your back. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his head closer to yours.  He drags your knee over his and you press down. Y’all kiss fervently all the way home.
               NamJoon fixes his hair and shirt. You ring the bell and an anxious Jin answers the door. NamJoon greets him cordially saying, “Jin Hyung, Gamsahamnida! Having Ms. Meghna Mizuki has been absolutely delightful. I Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
               “NamJoon-ah! Okay good. Would you like to come in for tae or something?” “No Jin Hyung butt thanks, It’s late I’ll head home. Goodnight! And Goodbye Ms. Meghna Mizuki! This evening has been Enchanting!” “Goodbye Mr. Kim NamJoon! It’s been a pleasure.”
               “He’s so polite, so charming, what did I tell you Taehyung he’s a good boy.” “Oh! Really?” replies Tae sarcastically. “Yeah, you were worrying unnecessarily. Goodnight!” Everyone chuckles.

The first week of August:
               Suga and you have perfected this composition called, ‘Blood, Sweat & Tears.’ Y’all practice Chopin and Tchaikovsky, duetting and teaching each other all day. “Mae, I wanted you to be the first person to know... about my other persona ‘Agust D’ I like it because it contradicts my cold appearance. It also stands for ‘Shooting Guard’ which is the position I play in Basketball. It represents my raw side which I haven’t been able to showcase as Suga. What do you think?”
               “I think it’s lovely, it is so fitting that you announcing it in August. You’ve put so much thought into this. That’s what I love about you, you put your heart and soul into your work, all your energy, energy.” Yoongi says, “Yeah, it’s a hustle life. You and me, we’re drenched, drenched, drenched in sweat, in our practice room. Also, Agust D is DT Suga backwards, DT is Daegu Town which is where I’m from.” “I love the detail, Agust D you are beautiful.” “Yah neo, we’re dope from head to toe, over half the day, we drown in work. Thanks to that we’re closer to success. Girl, we’re kinda dope.” You blush.
               “Yah neo, We should work on more pieces together. I feel so nice Mae, I feel so nice when we work together. I didn’t know your significance back then… Back then I was content with just looking at you. Don’t leave me okay.” “Yoongi, I won’t, but don’t worry even if I leave, you’ll do well on your own. I remember when I met first met you, you touched me with your heart-rendering soulful performance.”
               “Mae, I feel like even afterwards I will get to meet you again no matter what form.” “Yoongi, Greet me happily then…” He hugs you and says, “ I remember back then when I met you that I heard your music and I had completely forgotten my surroundings. Without repulsion, You accepted me. I’m just a self-taught musician, without you I’m nothing. Meghna, don’t let go of my hand forever” “Yoongi, I won’t let go of you either.” Y’all laughed, hugged and cried. “Meghna, These days with you, these moments are now in memories.” He grasps you, crushing your shoulder…

The Next Day:
               The next day you drive Taehyung to the airport. “TaeTae, I’ll be missing you, saying this makes me miss you even more” He holds you tight and whispers, “It’s all winter here even in August.” A tear falls from his eyes, “It’s just tiny dust, tiny dust floating in the air…” “TaeTae, Will you come back faster if I was the snow in the air?”
               “Mae, you are My Snowflower, I miss you, I miss you.” “TaeTae, How long do I have to wait? How many sleepless nights do I have to spend to see you, to meet you?” “I’ll be back in October. I wish I could reach you quicker, if I was snow flying in the air…” “Please stay, please stay there a little longer.” “Mae, you’re my first friend, I’ll never stopped thinking about you, not even a day.”
               “Tae, Butt I can’t really let you go yet…” You hug him tight and cry, “You know it all, you’re my best friend” “MaeMae, No season can last forever, I’ll be back. It’ll be over, wait a little bit, just few more nights… I’ll be there to see you, I’ll come back for you…” He kisses your cheek and bids you goodbye. You whisper under your breath, “Please stay, please stay here a little longer” His flight leaves…

The Next Week:
              Jinnie and you miss Kim Taehyung, so Kim NamJoon invites y’all over instead for a study session. “Hey Jin Hyung! Hello Miss Meghna Mizuki!” “Hey Joon-ah! It’s good to see you.  Let’s study man!” “Hi NamJoonie!” Jin gives you the side eye, NamJoon blushes…
              It’s 1:39, he calls y’all into his study (like the one in Blood, Sweat & Tears) It’s a beautiful room with off-white printed wallpaper, a turquoise painted desk and ornate antique lamps. He offers y’all “Peaches and cream” “Joonie, they’re Sweeter than sweet!” He then asks, “Chocolate milady?” After which, he pours y’all this lovely green drink. Jin wonders off, he’s busy admiring the furniture and art pieces.
              NamJoon pulls you to him and whispers in your ear, “There’s no bitter next to your sweet... Kiss me, it’s okay if it hurts. Just tighten me so quickly that I can’t even feel pain anymore. Baby it’s okay if I get drunk, I’ll drink you deep now. A whiskey called ‘you’...” You kiss him ardently, between kisses he cries, “Want it more, want it more… It’s okay to be hurt, so tie me up so I can’t run away”
              You grab him tight, he shakes you up, you can’t come to your senses. He adds, “Don’t stop Kissing me on the lips, a secret between just the two of us. I can’t serve no one but you. My Blood, sweat, tears, My last dance too just taeke ‘em taeke ‘em…” You want it more now. You hold onto him and say, “Close my eyes with your hand, I can’t resist it anyway. I can’t even run away anymore. You’re just too sweet, too sweet…” NamJoon, he too was tempted…
               Later on, Jin’s back and y’all studying very seriously and very quietly ;) You try to study your subjects but you see NamJoon everywhere, in every equation… You daydream about NamJoonie and what occurred, what he had said just a little while ago. Jin notices you staring at him, if only he knew your thoughts were elsewhere, for he says, “I know I’m better looking than your homework butt go back and study” Needless to say, you’re flustered. NamJoon silently smirks.
              Y’all say for dinner, after which he opens up about his family to Jinnie and you, “yah neo, sometimes I miss Ilsan, I miss the lake, hills, even the annual flower festival. My dad's a businessman, he began export to England which is why I ended up living here and my mom's still a realtor in Seoul. I have siblings, my sister Kim Geong Min will be visiting soon. I’m very excited.” Jin says, “That’s nice, I have a brother Kim Seok-Jung and Meghna is practically my little sister.” You smile. He continues, “My dad is the CEO of a restaurant chain in Korea, it’s a big business so they sent me here to study because I want to make a name for myself. I want to be a famous politician.”
              “I’m hungry!” “Jinnie we just ate xD” “That’s okay, Jin Hyung I’m sure the cooks will make something for you. They’re in the kitchen.” “Thanks, Joon-ah. I like it when my mouth is full of food. Meghnaaa, I always get you good food why do you care what I eat!” He Runs off to kitchen. NamJoon stands up and stretches his hand out to you. He leads you to his bedroom. He opens his wardrobe and bends down, you can see a bit of his butt, he’s getting something from the bottom shelf. He calls you, you sit on the floor next to him.
              “These are my photo albums, I’ve learnt that every life’s a movie. We got different stars and stories. We got different nights and mornings. Our scenarios ain’t just boring and I find this movie very amusing. Every day, I want to shoot it well, that’s why I love albums and photographs.” You caress his hair. “To be honest, quite often I really hate myself. When I really hate myself, I go to Dduksum just stand there with the familiar darkness.” You hold him tight, “Butt, I love you, I love you very much.” He replies, “I love you too.” He kisses you. You then ask him, “Tell me more about Dduksum…” “Well, Dduksum is a place in eastern Seoul, I went there often to Taeke in the nature overlooking the Han river. It helps me clear my mind.”
               He holds your hand and says, “You are the person who makes me smile.” He shows you several photos from his childhood, he shows you the Han river and you are lost in its beauty, he then pulls you out of your trance saying, “Hey you, who’s looking over the Han River. If we bump into each other while passing, would it be fate? Or maybe we bumped into each other in our past life. Maybe we bumped into each other countless times in the darkness.” He kisses you softly.
              He continues, “Dduksum, which has swallowed up the night, hands me an entirely different world. I want to be free, I want to be free from freedom. Because right now I’m happy but I’m unhappy. I’m looking at myself at Dduksum, I wish I could love myself, I wish I could love myself.” You gaze deep into his eyes, as tears fall from yours. He asks, “Why are crying, my love?” “Well, you’re truly wonderful. You are so sincere, so perfect and you are capable of so much love-”
               “Butt Meghna, Loving yourself might be harder than loving someone else. Let’s admit it. The standards you made are stricter for yourself.” “NamJoonie, The thick tree rings in your life. It’s part of you, it’s you. I know what it’s like, trust me I understand, Now let’s forgive ourselves. Our lives are long, trust yourself when in a maze. When winter passes, spring always comes… A Beautiful Spring Day”
              “Mae, from the eyes of the cold night, I try to hide myself, as I keep tossing and turning ey. Maybe I fell in order to taeke the place of those countless stars, The target of thousands of bright arrows is me alone. Butt Yah neo Meghna, You’ve shown me I have reasons. I should love myself (oh) I’ll answer with my breath, my path.”
              “The me of yesterday, the me of today, the me of tomorrow, I’m learning how to love myself. With no exceptions, it’s all me. Maybe there’s no answer, maybe this isn’t the answer either. It’s just that loving myself. I don’t require anyone else’s permission. I’m looking for myself again and thanks to you I’ve found myself. Me, who used to be sad, I’m so happy with you. Me, who used to be hurt, You healed my wounds with your kisses. It’ll make me more beautiful. You’ve shown me and for that, I’m eternally grateful. Thank you, Meghna Mizuki.” You’re in each other’s arms. He is holding you tight. He doesn’t want to let go, neither (do you)
              You look through the other albums, there’s bits of paper with writing on it. His sister is in some of the pictures, she seems really sweet and affectionate, her personality is a lot like NamJoon. There’s a small boy in the photos…

NamJoon kisses you saying, “Meghna Mizuki, You are My First Love…”