eternally // yeonbin

ice cream

3 years ago

it was a cold, rainy evening in seoul. but thanks to the warmth of each other's touch and the laughter that they shared, yeonjun and soobin didn't even realise that the weather had become freezing cold. in the practice room, they were sitting on the ground while the older was busy tickling the younger one.

"heyy, stop it!" said soobin, trying to speak between his laugh. yeonjun didn't listen to him though, he never did. he liked seeing the younger boy laughing like that, he liked that he was happy with him. it was like there were only the two of them in the world, and even if there were other people, they didn't care.

18-year-old trainee choi yeonjun and 17-year-old choi soobin first met when soobin spontaneously decided to become an idol 4 years ago. after passing his audition, yeonjun's face was the first one he saw in the company's building. it was like an instant connection between them, they both knew but didn't say a word. however, yeonjun being yeonjun, couldn't stop himself from asking the boy's name and that's how they met. they both felt like they already knew each other, both so comfortable with each other. yeonjun never had someone like him before, since everyone thought that he was intimidating other trainees always kept away from him. he would try to make friends with them at first, but gave up shortly after. soobin was different, he had many friends, and had never been an outcast before. he quickly became friends with other trainees as well, but as the time went by, him and yeonjun were inseparable. they did everything together, practiced together, shared the same dream. both yeonjun and soobin wanted to debut in a group together so badly, they did their best to achieve this goal.

until doing their best wasn't enough.

sometimes you make plans like you're never going to die when it's not even granted that you're going to see the morning sun tomorrow.

that's exactly what yeonjun did. he had everything planned. soobin was more spontaneous, he didn't care as much. maybe it was better that he never cared, then there was nothing to be disappointed of.

that night when the car couldn't stop on the slippery road and hit the taller boy, fleeing the scene, yeonjun blamed himself. if he didn't want to get some ice-cream, maybe he wouldn't have lost his most precious treasure.

yeonjun's pov

"fuck. fuck. fuck. what am i going to do? what the fuck am i supposed to do now?"

after the motherfucker hit soobin and drove off, i don't even remember what i did. i just remember seeing him looking at my eyes smiling before the car hit him and him falling to the ground. i saw the headlights of the car flash on his pretty face, i saw the ice cream cone fall out of his hands, but i couldn't move. it was only like 10 seconds after that i gained consciousness of what happened, then i ran to him.

i held him in my arms, trying to wake him up. he was paler than he ever was, i shook him but there was no response. when i tried to hold his head, my hands got wet all of a sudden.

"no, it can't be." but it was. as much as i wanted to believe that his hair just got wet from the rain, the colour said otherwise. it was red, the last colour i wanted to see right now.

"come on, soobin. come on." i felt the tears in my eyes but that was the last thing i was concerned about, i just wanted him to open his eyes and smile at me on more time. tell me that it was okay. tell me that he was still here, with me.

this was all my fault. if we stayed in the practice room, if i didn't want to get some stupid ice cream, none of this would happen. i wouldn't have lost him, he would still be here holding my hand.

i never got the chance to tell you how much i love you, soobin. i thought i would have the chance one day, maybe you'd even like me back. maybe we'd be happy, once more. maybe i'd kiss you and hold your hand, hug you tighter than ever.

but i took that away from you, from us. i'm sorry. i never wanted this to happen.

as i was about to give up hope, i felt his hand just slightly squeezing mine. with a burst of happiness and panic, i found my phone and called 911. i was just hoping that it wasn't too late.

i was about to put the phone back in my pocket, that was when i felt his hand letting go of mine and his head slightly tilting to the side.

"no, no, no. you can't. you can't."

i can't do this without you, come back.

it was like he was just melting away in my arms, and i couldn't do anything about it. i was just there, watching him turn into nothing. wanting to save him, reaching my hand, but there was no one to hold it. i was left by myself in the dark.

it was too late.

he was gone.

eternally.