Blackbox

Watashi wa...

2015

"Watashi wa..." the screen was stuck with the character's chin in view, his jaw being hugged by his overflowing black hair. The laptop was about to die.

"No no no no no," Maya chanted as she jumped out of her bed to get the charger "not after coming this far!"

While plugging in the charger, she heard the familiar groan of her laptop taking its last breath. With her head hung in resignation, she recalled his face. There was a peculiar curl on his lips which could only be achieved by going through a lifetime of agony.

"Watashiwa..." his voice echoed in Maya's head. She looked up to notice the Naruto bobblehead smiling down at her from her bedstand. She stood up to caress its spikey hair, it was always a comfort.

She had started watching Blackbox precisely because she was instantly drawn to this character when she saw him on instagram anime pages. It was only the second episode and her laptop had given her the slip.

Plugging in the charger, Maya sat down on the floor, leaning her back on the bed's cold wooden carcass. "Why do I feel like I know someone like him?" she thought.

There was a rustling beneath her apartment door, and an envelope appeared within the blink of an eye. Maya's face remained blank as she had adapted it to avoid the perils of her childhood. Her face was always blank under the influence of any negative feelings. And the letter carried with itself a definitely ominous air.

"Why the hell are you crying?" the screaming echoed once again. Maya covered her ears with a grimace almost as fierce as the first time she had been reprimanded for crying.

The memories flashed before her eyes. A glowing hand holding on to her arm in the dark; it seemed to be her only source of light but it dragged her towards torture. "You need to be locked up a few more times," the disembodied voice echoed in the dark "until your tears would finally run out."

Maya could still feel the cold tears on her cheeks as she recalled the horrific past. She did not have any idea about the time, place or people involved. Her chilhood was a blank slate. She did not even remember what she looked like as a child; she was better off that way.

She finally extended her hand to pick up the envelope. The paper was fragile, almost brittle beneath her fingers. It seemed to have travelled centuries to reach her.

On the envelope, only two words were written "From M". She pulled out the sheet of paper from inside the envelope. It read as follows:

Maya,

This is my final attempt at trying to contact you. It has been painstakingly difficult to come this far. And I cannot afford to chicken out now. I'll cut right to the chase.

You are inside a blackbox, it was created by your dad to keep you safe and by his side forever. He manipulates your surroundings, what you watch, what you hear, basically everything except your mind. He could not come up with something to control your mind, or else he would have done that.

It is probably selfish of me to have let you live a lie for all these years, but now he has mass-produced these boxes which will occupy entire colonies. Houses will be replaced by blackboxes and everyone will be his slave. This is his way of achieving world peace.

Maya started to feel a dissociation from her surroundings more strongly than ever before. Her hands felt tingly as they did whenever she edged towards an anxiety attack. She quickly opened and closed her fists a couple of times, took a few deep breaths and murmured to herself "What a bad joke..."

She got up from the floor and tried using the grounding techniques that her therapist had taught her. She went over to her desk, touched the wood upon which her books lay, opened a drawer and drew out a piece of dark chocolate to smell before eating it slowly. "Now, I just need to hear something," she thought. Her own voice never worked for her.

"The perfect moment to go back to my anime!" she thought as she once again flung herself on her bed and flipped open the laptop. She opened Netflix to resume watching;  Blackbox was not visible on her homepage. Maya's irritation rose up. "It must be Pia. She always does this to mess with me."

Postponing the reprimand call for later, Maya typed the word into the search bar, "blackbox". "No results for blackbox" the screen flashed in her face.

She reloaded the page a few times but was met with the same response. Opening a new tab, Maya typed "blackbox anime" into the google search bar. And several images of black boxes popped up on her screen. She scrolled down to find a link to watch the anime but to no avail. After repeated failed attempts, she decided to call Pia.

"Why the hell did you remove it from my list? We've been over this, it's not funny anymore."

"I haven't even used Netflix for the past couple of days," Pia's confusion was conspicuous in her voice "don't you remember I'm on a camping trip with my family?"

"Don't lie to me," Maya pushed her even as the realization creeped over her.

"Oh even if I did, what of it?" there was a sudden shift in Pia's tone "why don't you get your own subscription?"

"Pia?" Maya's hands started to feel tingly again "Where are you?"

"Out camping, can't you hear?" her words were gaining more and more contempt every second.

"Then how are you able to pick up your phone at home?" Maya's words barely left her mouth, as the piercing beep of the phone entered her ears. The call was disconnected.

Maya's head was full of inexplicable questions. She turned back to go back to her bed.

"Maybe, I just need to take a nap," she thought "I do feel quite tired."

On her second step, she found the letter lying beneath her feet. Everything had started to take the tint of a dream, perhaps nightmare would be a better word.

Maya was certain the letter was a joke but she decided there was no harm in reading it.

You probably don't remember anything from your childhood.

Maya's feet were shivering, uncertain whether the cold floor beneath her feet was real or illusionary.

Your mother's death at his own hands made a monster of your father. I do not have the time to explain how everything came about.

All you need to know is there is a hole in your black box which was allegedly created during an experiment of your father's. You cannot get out through the hole because there are numerous layers inside which you are sealed. The hole is only two layers deep. Not to mention your real body is not in the condition move.

You must leave your apartment right now. Go to the cafe in the back alley. I have created it in order to contact with you. It won't be noticeable to your father for a while. Someone will meet you there. He shall explain to you what you need to do.