Unheard Voice and Unexpressed Feelings [2016-2018]

No Boyfriend Since Birth

Friend: We've been friends for 10 years but I never saw you flirting and going on dates. Even once! You haven't told me your love story. You are always excited to listen to our love stories. You are contented on having crushes. You were so studious and diligent when we were students that you didn't think of being in a relationship. Perhaps, no one tried to court you cus you were smart. You were a good role model. You love to stay athome all the time too. How can you find a boyfriend? Go out! That's why you're suicidal. You are alone most of the time.

Me: ... @.@ What to answer? Ahahaha! How to flirt? How to ask a guy out? How to make my own love story? You have to wait. I might have the greatest love story of all. You just wait! Oh, what smart? Me? I'm soo dumb. -.- The adoration and affection I have to my crushes are always unreciprocated. It's kinda normal for me to happen.

Yunno, I've been single my whole life. I'm 23 but I've never been on dates. I've never experienced being courted. I've never received flowers not love letters. I've never felt soo special. I think I'm better off without a boyfriend but my gosh I wanna experience the feeling of having a boyfriend, being courted, go on a date and watch movies together, holding hands while walking and other romantic things ordinary couples do before I die. However, I'm already used to being alone. Forever alone!

As my 13-year-old Korean student said before, 'You can't get a boyfriend because of your sweaty hands.' Ahahaha! I have planar hyperhidrosis and I dread holding anybody's hands. Bwahahaha! Anyway, it's not a problem. I can live life without a man so long as there are books around! (Paper and pens as well.)

Yuchae Moon
November 30, 2016