Over the Edge

Chapter 1~ Over the Edge

Tommy sat in the floor in corner of the bathroom of his hotel room. In one hand he was holding a razor, the other arm was out stretched before him. He sat there contemplating whether or not he should do what he was thinking so intently on doing. As he moved the razor closer to his wrist, a thought crossed his mind.

How could he be so selfish? How could he do this to Adam? He was Adam Lambert's bass player. Adam needed him. He was his friend. What would Adam think if he saw him right now? He knew it was wrong, but he just couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted release. He knew what he was doing, as he had done it many times before, only not since Glam Nation began. But it was the only way he really knew how to deal with his feelings.

His mind slowly drifted to thoughts of the show that night, and every other night. He thought of his intros when Adam introduced each band member, he thought of how Adam loved to hang around him on stage and all the kisses he got. At that thought, Tommy pressed the razor against his wrist, causing red raindrops to surface. It wasn't very deep, but Tommy felt a slight sense of relief. He couldn't think straight right now, there was only one thing he was sure of. He wanted that tall, raven haired, blue eyed Adam to be his. But no-he couldn't, he told himself. Because he was STRAIGHT. At least he used to be, but that was before, in the heat of the moment, Adam kissed him on the AMA's. At first it didn't affect Tommy that much, but with every show, all that went on between them

was just a fan service. Just for "Entertainment," but no one saw how it had begun to affect Tommy more. To him, it wasn't just a fan service anymore. It had begun to be something he would seek out on stage, something he craved, desired. But he was straight. At least he was to everyone else.

At that, Tommy again pressed firmly on the razor in his right hand. He pressed slightly deeper this time, causing a quiet whimper to escape his lips. He did it again and again until his eyes begun to water. He thought again to himself-No, he couldn't do this. It would hurt Adam. He couldn't hurt his Babyboy...He looked again at the razor in his hand and then at his wrist, now very red with blood. Well-Tommy thought-it's not like I'm going to kill myself. I know when to stop, he thought. So, he slashed at his wrist again. Tommy whimpered again, it felt so good. The release. He slashed again and again until he decided to move to the other wrist. He did the same on this wrist and his eyes were slowly becoming blurry. He knew he was getting close. The fury at his wrists and arms were telling him he needed to stop, but he couldn't. He knew he needed to stop, but he didn't want to. This was just the release he was looking for. His eyes squeezed shut when he noticed the puddles in the bathroom floor and he went for his wrist one last time. Just one more, he thought to himself. The blade moved closer to his wrist the two finally met. As he whimpered, a little louder this time, the blade fell from his hand and his eyes were blurry again. Involuntarily, his eyes slowly drifted shut and thoughts of Adam came to his mind. Tommy knew he had gone too far...