it's always been you (a jottie story)

Chapter 5: Please

Jamie's POV:

It had been 2 days since my run in with Lottie, and she hadn't said a word to me. Only when it was necessary, or if we'd say hi at the breakfast table. Otherwise, she was off in the library alone, as her and Ellie weren't on speaking terms. Why? I don't know. I guess the same reason we aren't on speaking terms either.

I stood up from my desk, and looked out the window of my dorm. Percy wasn't back yet, because the school term hadn't started yet. Lottie, Ellie and I were heading back to Maradova tomorrow, to discuss our time at Takeshin. My mind drifted back to the night where Lottie came out into the storm to find me after I fell off the roof of Leviathan's base, how she clung to me, and screamed into the howling winds that she wasn't going to let me go again. How everytime she did something, she was trying to impress me, or gain approval from me. How many times did I have to tell her she didn't need to impress me? She was only a kid. She's still only a kid, a girl who's bright future has been ripped away from her, by the Maravish Royal Family again. I shook my head. Jamie, stop thinking about Lottie. You should only be thinking about Ellie, the voice in my head told me over and over again.

I was still standing by the window when I heard 3 little knocks at my door. I collected myself, and walked over and opened the door, struggling to hide my surprise when I saw who it was.

Lottie's POV:

I walked into the Ivy dormitories, and ran straight up the stairs of the Boys wing, and stopped in front of Jamie's door. I froze for a moment, wondering if this was a bad idea or not. Lottie, it has to be done, you can't be in denial all the time, and you can't leave the trio apart like this, the voice in my head told me. I collected myself, and knocked softly on the door 3 times, and stood back.

Lottie this was a bad idea, the voice rang through my head. I shook it away. Then, the door opened, revealing Jamie. He looked tired, his fluffy brown hair looking even more messy than usual, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He probably hasn't, Lottie thought, because she hadn't slept either. "Um, hey Jamie," I started to say, before he looked around the hallways and pulled me into his room, and shut the door behind me. "What are you doing here?" He crossed his arms, "You shouldn't be in the Boys wing." I stared at him in disbelief. Of course he was going to be cold Lottie, the voice said, but I didn't expect him to be this cold. "I- well, I wanted to talk to you. About... everything." I trailed off, as my gaze landed on his lips. STOP Lottie!! I quickly looked away again, embarrassed. His eyes were still locked on my face, and then his gaze softened, and he sat down on his desk chair. "Lottie," He half-whispered, "Don't be nervous. It's only me. What's going on?" I walked over to his bed, and sat down on it, and started fiddling with his pillows. "I don't know..." I whispered, "I just know I can't lose you again." I could feel a sheen of tears in my eyes, for what seemed like the 100th time these past few days.

Jamie's POV:

"I just know I can't lose you again..." The words were ringing in my head, over and over. I looked over at her on my bed, and could see she was trying hard to cover up the tears forming in her eyes. "I just know I can't lose you again..." The words started to make my head spin, with the hope that she felt the same way. I knew that I couldn't lose her, I knew I had to protect her, and I knew that I wanted to protect her. I snapped back into reality, and saw Lottie still sitting on my bed, wiping her eyes. I stood up, and walked towards her, something taking over me. I sat down next to her on the bed. "Lottie..." I whispered, and lifted her chin up, "Look at me," I said again, barely audible. She looked up at me, her ocean blue eyes locking onto mine. I stared at her, and then wrapped my arms around her, and held her tight to me, like we both knew we were waiting for it.

Lottie's POV:

A pair of big arms wrapped around me, and held me tight. It took me a second to realise who it was. Jamie! I melted into the hug, and started to cry again, "I'm... so... sorry Jamie," I cried into his chest, "This huge mess is all because of me, isn't it?" He rubbed my back in circles and held me tight, tight enough to let me know he wasn't leaving. "Shhh, Lottie. It never was and never will be your fault," he whispered in my ear. I blushed furiously, pulled away, and began wiping my tears with my sleeve. Jamie got up and walked into the bathroom, and brought back tissues. I started wiping my eyes, and looked back up at him. He was looking at me with such tenderness, and such vulnerability in my eyes, and I knew I was witnessing yet another side of him he hid. "Jamie... I'm so scared. What's going to happen now?" I started to shake and cry again. Jamie wiped my tears away with a tissue, and grabbed my shoulders, squeezing them lightly. "Lottie, we're all scared, and it's okay. We're all in this mess together, and we'll all solve this mess together, I promise you. But for now, we're safe in Rosewood. No one is here. And we'll be back in Maradova soon." He spoke softly. I froze and stared at his hazel eyes, shining in the mid-morning sun pouring in through the window. He looked so beautiful in that light. I quickly pushed that thought away, slightly blushing. Haru. He didn't know about Haru yet.

I know I promised to Sayuri I'd keep it a secret, but we can't keep this from Jamie. I can't keep this from Jamie. If I'm going to tell him, I better tell him now, while I've got him close. I looked up at him again, his hands still on my shoulders. "Jamie, I- I have to tell you something," He looked apprehensive, but nodded for me to go on, "I found out something huge whilst at Takeshin too, and I was sworn to secrecy not to tell you. But... I can't keep it from you, because I need to tell you personally." I stopped, gasping at what I was about to do. Betray Sayuri's trust in me. But I needed to do it. To save Jamie, and to save us, before someone got hurt. "Jamie... Haru is a part of Leviathan."