it's always been you (a jottie story)

Chapter 6: Wait, what?

A.N: I think I've made Jamie too soft in some of this chapter, but I really wanted that softness now so more can happen throughout the book - so for now we're going to have to deal with soft Jamie :) I know it's not accurate, but we're just gonna have to go along and pretend it's all good HSHSHAHAH.

Lottie's POV:

I closed my eyes, ready to take the blame and be questioned furiously on how long I had known, and how exactly I had found out, and why I didn't tell him sooner. However, there was silence. Pure silence. I opened my eyes, and saw Jamie still sitting opposite me on the bed, but he was looking out the window, a pained expression taking over his face. My heart dropped, he trusted Haru so much, and valued Haru as a friend. The way he was so glad Haru returned safely after the Leviathan run-in in Japan. I stared up at him, and I could see his pain etched over his face, and the way his body turned rigid. I wanted to help him, reach out to him, and take away all his problems. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped... I pushed that thought away from my head, because this time, I could see it so clearly. He needed help. He needed to feel loved, because he felt so lost.

Anastacia was right all along. She always seemed to know.

Before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, and pulled him towards me, engulfing him in a hug. I felt his arms tense even more, then slowly wrap around my waist. I held onto him tight, tight enough to tell him I loved him and needed him, and he did the same. There wasn't any words needed for this moment. He slowly rested his head on my shoulder, and I rested my chin on the top of his head, and held onto him as I felt him melt into my embrace. My heart had never ached for Jamie as much as it did in this moment. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly, afraid that if he let go I would be gone.

"Jamie... " I started to whisper, "Mhm?" he spoke muffed against my shoulder. "I'm always here for you, don't you ever forget that. And don't for one second think you aren't needed or you aren't loved, because I love you, and I need you." It was silent for a moment, until I heard sniffles coming from Jamie, his head burrowed in my shoulder, and his arms around my waist tightened. I pulled him off me, and held his face gently. Sure enough, there were little tears falling from his eyes. My heart was exploding at this point, and tears started to spring to my eyes too, tears for Jamie. I rested my forehead on his, and we sat like that. Jamie faced so much more than a 17 year old boy should have to face. Jamie opened his eyes then whispered, "Thank you." I smiled softly then moved away and sat up against his bedhead, and beckoned for him to come to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him next to me, and he rested his head on my chest. We lay like this for a while, until I looked over at the clock on his bedside, and saw it read 2:00pm. "Jamie, we should probably go get something to eat and start packing for Maradova," I spoke softly. He hesitated, then sat up and got off his bed, holding out his hand to help me up.

As Jamie put on his shoes, I looked over at him. It was miraculous how fast he could change. He looked as if he was back to his normal no emotion self, but Lottie knew now that the vulnerable side of him was here to stay whenever he was around Lottie, whenever they were alone. "Jamie," I started. He looked up. "Just don't tell the others you know about Haru, okay? And by the others I mean Ellie, Anastacia, and Saskia, because they kinda knew too," He frowned at me, and I quickly cut him off, "Just don't say anything because I wasn't meant to tell, they didn't want me to. But I had to. I'll talk to them." Jamie nodded and half-smiled at me, then got up and made towards the door.

"Come on," he spoke, giving me his signature smirk, as we walked out the door towards the cafeteria together. I felt like I was floating, because Jamie and I were good again. Better than good. It was the happiest I had been in a long time.