Impulsive Notion

2

September 10, 2021

A lot happened today, yes.

Today, a lot of group chats for school were created. Classes are approaching, really. Still can't believe tho.

Despite being bombarded with subject GCs, I still feel great because I found out Miss Pineda (my fav research teacher) is going to be our Earth Science teacher this year! That is so great because I have this feeling — the longing for the way of teaching my 2019 teachers (9th grade) had. That's before the pandemic. I miss them and it's nostalgic to have even just one of them as our subject teacher this school year. 

Honestly, I feel like I am going to love Science because of her as much as I did on Research. I was so scared of Research before because I thought that subject would be so hard but with Miss Pineda being our teacher, it all feels so light and easy to understand. She made sure we will learn all that is needed to be learned one step at a time. No pressure. I love her so much T__T

Fast forward tonight, we had a fan-meet with Rob. Yes, it is fun, no doubt, since it's him we're talking about. Everything about him is fun and lovable and amazing. 

But while on the fan-meet, my family keeps on being noisy and keeps on interrupting me. My mom asked me to turn my camera off for a while because she will get her clothes at my back, since behind me is our worn cabinet covered with a curtain for it to look presentable (and to conceal the things needed to be concealed lol) and this is the only area in the house which has a decent background. 

I was annoyed. I thought, "Maybe if we have our own rooms, at least, I would be able to join fan-meets and my classes peacefully, without my family interrupting me, or without their noises in the background." or "Maybe if we have enough money we would be able to replace this worn cabinet or renovate the house blah blah."

I always think about this. 

Everyday. 

That I want to have my own space. 

That I want to be rich. Seriously. (I feel like being rich would probably solve ALL, yes, all of my problems.)

I don't care sharing the room with my brother tho. I'm used to him. I could just ask him to get out for the meantime whenever I have meetings. But the thing is, our house is like literally a one whole room, all-in-one. You could literally see everything the moment you step on the doorway - kitchen, living and dining area (tho I'm not sure if ours can be called a living and dining area), and bed (or comforters that we lay on the floor when we sleep).

With this set-up, you see, all of us could not have our personal spaces. No privacy for all of us. 

And I don't want that.

I always say and promise to myself to be financially capable enough to build a decent and just-big-enough house before having a family. 

I am neither hating nor blaming them for our situation but I just don't like this to happen again in the future. 

If I don't like it as it is now, then why not learn from it and change it in the future?