You're Always Out Of Reach

One Step Ahead

I feel like I'm falling.

Falling behind.

While she simply passes.

Passes me.

I'm always staring at the back of her head.

Her long, blonde hair.

Her great grades.

Her bright future.

Something that I don't have.

She is always in front of me.

She is always,

One step ahead.

Always out of reach.

Always-

"Helloooo?" Clara waves a hand in front of my face, "Kai? Kaiiii?" I quietly look up at her and her light grey eyes stare at me joyfully. I sigh and roll my own eyes. "Okay then, Mr. Grumpy Pants. I guess we won't talk." She insults, while crossing her arms and turning the other way, pretending to be all angry.

"Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry." I laugh while standing up and patting her on the shoulder.

She turns back around and smiles, as if nothing even happened. "Okie dokie. It's time for the next class by the way," so weird.

"Yeah, yeah," I stuff my books into my backpack. "Don't you go to your... fancy nerds class right about now?"

She gasps overdramatically, like always. "It. Is. Not a nerds class! It's just...advanced classes." She suddenly gets quiet at the last two words.

I look at her, slightly confused and slightly worried. I didn't need to say anything, my face already showed a whole bunch of question marks.

She starts to explain, "You should really gets your grades up, you know I could-"

"No." I say putting a hand up to stop her sentence.

"Why? I could ju-"

"No. I don't want your help." I repeat a bit more stern this time.

"But whyyyy?"

"Just because."

"Becauseee?"

"You should get to class now." I remind her.

She frowns and fixes her backpack that was slipping off her shoulder. "Well see ya then."

"Yeah." I say as she walks away.

She turns back at me and smiles brightly, that same cheerful smile I've come to know so well, "try to get your grades up okay?" She said, then disappeared out of the classroom.

"Yeah..." I say to the empty room.

It isn't really just because. I don't want her to help me with my stupid grades and my failures. I'm lucky enough to even still be in school. It would only make me feel bad if she helped me, like I'm just using her or something. I've been friends with Clara since 3rd grade because she decided to talk to me, the quiet, no friends, bad grades kid. Ever since then, everyone has always thought she just felt bad for me. Sometimes I think that too. She might just feel sorry that I'm such a disappointment.

I hear the loud shrill of the bell. Oh crap- I'm late for class. I rush out of the classroom, nearly tripping over my own shoes.

"You're late for class." Mrs. Johnson scolds, staring at me with a grimacing look.

"I know. I know." I walk over to my assigned seat, next to this one kid who I don't really know, but still talk to, and next to this other girl who doesn't like to talk to me. Her name is Jaclee or something like that.