Hiraeth: Blackout (I)

Chapter Twenty Four

It was the strangest feeling to wake up not touching the ground.

I looked down and gasped. "C-Clouds..?" I whispered, observing glowing white vapor-like swirls.

I scanned the rest of my surroundings and my breath was taken away.

"... Stars?"

I was floating beyond the atmosphere, in a sea of stars that radiated brilliant light which, strangely, didn't hurt my skin or eyes. They twinkled and made faint bell-like sounds. They danced and twirled and sang softly. There were thousands of them, illuminating the swirling purple, blue, and black colors of the space beyond Hiraeth.

Am I... dead?

This thought panicked me at first, but then I realized that I was good enough to become a star.

Then I remembered what had just happened, before I died.

"No no no..." I groaned, trying to curl into a ball.

Huh?

I couldn't move. And I wasn't glowing like the other stars. I was still me, the humanoid boy with scars and pale skin and messy hair. However, Bexley's wings and ears had disappeared. I felt their absence with surprised relief.

"H-Hello?" I called into the brilliance all around me.

The only reply was the quiet twinkling sounds of dancing stars.

"Anyone?" I yelled, starting to panic. Was I going to be frozen like this forever?

Every thought in my head vanished as a soft voice I'd been missing for more than six years whispered, "My sweet boy."

One of the stars was getting closer.

Its light seemed to dim a little, and soon my mother's figure was just a few feet away from me. Soon I could see her eyes, soon her face, soon her hair and her smile. The beautiful, loving, compassionate smile I'd yearned for and missed.

I felt my eyes well up, tears spilling from them in a waterfall of indescribable, bittersweet joy.

I wanted to run to her, to wrap my arms around her and never let go. The need to embrace her ached and stung.

But all I could do was float in place, the tears running faster.

"M-Mom?!" I gasped, sobbing.

My mother was finally there, right in front of me, inches from my frozen arms which wished for nothing more than to reach out and touch her. Just a moment, that's all I needed. That's all I wanted.

"My sweet, sweet Mike," she said gently, touching a hand to my face.

I felt a part of me melt away - the bitterness, anger, and sorrow. I wanted to press my cheek closer, but I was still unable to move.

"I'm so so sorry."

I tried to shake my head no. "Why?! What for?!"

"I had to leave you. I truly wish I could have stayed. But the stars knew it was my time, and so you've gone all this while without your mother. I'm sorry you were alone."

"B-But it's not your fault! You shouldn't be sorry for anything!" I broke into a fit of uncontrollable sobbing. "I-I-I-I'm the one who should be sorry! E-Everything's my fault... Your death, the blackout, a-a-and now the surrender of Hiraeth to B-Bexley..."

As I spoke, my mom's face grew soft and sad. She shook her head, wrapping her arms around me.

I lost my breath then. This was an embrace I never thought I'd receive ever again. I'd yearned for it for far too long.