Begin Again (Severus Snape/Student Love Story)

Chapter Nineteen: Snape's Curriculum

I must have been crazy.

Perhaps stress hormones were taking over and making me completely irrational.

Maybe mom's death had finally driven me loopy.

At least, that seemed to be the only rational reason why I'd ask Snape to help me, after I'd been made to feel so absurd for thinking he cared about me.

In fact, it took tremendous amounts of internal arguing throughout the entirety of the next thirty-six hours between this "brilliant" idea occurring to me and actually arriving at Defense Against the Dark Arts to convince myself of it. And even then, as the last of my classmates dispersed from the room, I nearly changed my mind, tottering on my feet as I deliberated.

I could take my chances against the Death Eaters on my own, couldn't I? I was pretty good as a student after all. Surely they couldn't be more intelligent than me.

"Here again, Miss Pierce?" Snape's hard tone caught me just as I had decided that my life probably wasn't worth the embarrassment of asking for his help. I cursed under my breath and mustered up some pride.

"I had a question for you, actually," I said.

"You usually do," said Snape, sounding a tad annoyed.

I ignored his retort. "I'm sure you've probably heard the gossip about the lovely er... warning... I got from my dad over breakfast the other day. I don't have a very high opinion of my dad right now but... he said some pretty serious things... that I'm going to end up like my mom, that the Death Eaters are coming for me next. I don't know what it means or how he would know something like that... maybe he's gotten threats against me, I have no idea. Who knows, maybe that's even why... why mom died."

"Perhaps you ought to ask him yourself," he said apathetically. "I'm not entirely sure why any of this is my concern."

"I can't do that. I don't want to talk to him..." I said.

Snape snorted as he pointed his wand at a pot on the windowsill, levitating it to his desk. "I am not sure what your point is, Pierce. Against my most exhaustive efforts, I have yet to succeed in quelling the pompousness of a Gryffindor. If you are too stubborn to speak to your father to learn the details of why he believes you are in danger, I do not see how I can help with the predicament that has resulted from your stupidity."

A flight of anger flickered in my chest, and I was vaguely tempted to remind him promptly of his own stubbornness, but for once in my life I knew I had to hold back. "I need a way to protect myself. I need to be able to fight against them if they do come looking for me," I said candidly.

"If that is the case then I suggest using your free time more wisely. Some extra studying would be to your benefit," he said flatly, approaching the blackboard and swishing his wand so that "Reductor Curse" appeared in dusty white lettering across the top.

"That's not going to be enough," I said a little too sharply as the flame within me surged. Correcting my tone, I continued, "I need more than that. I need practical stuff... an actual teacher who knows what I need to focus on and can guide me."

"Everyone is in danger of being attacked at any moment by the Dark Lord and his followers, Miss Pierce, but naturally you would think you are special enough to deserve extra attention."

"Not everyone is as much of a target as I would be. The intel my dad has would be invaluable to Voldemort – "

"Don't say his name," spat Snape.