To Be A Prize

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Bubbles drift over my naked breasts as I float in the warm soapy bath water, hot liquid flows out of the tap. It's been a long morning already and I didn't sleep well so the gentle rhythmic move of my body as waves lap along the side of the porcelain is enough to make my eyelids feel heavy but I mustn't allow myself to sleep. There are bigger tasks at hand.

Reaching over the edge of the tub for the notebook, I am worried about what I may find written. What is inside would no doubt answer the questions riddling my brain but my chest is still heavy with guilt at the thought of looking through Karl's private belongings. Nevertheless, I tentatively pry open the leather-bound book to the first page.

This should be a filled with the nightmares Karl has been experiencing throughout our two year relationship except its not. Scribbled in Karl's messy handwriting are detailed accounts of me. My progress. My mood. My diet. Our sex life, including what I enjoy in bed. Each page is dated, going back to 3 months before we had even met, starting on November 9th, just over 2 years ago. Karl writes:

--'After speaking to my friends we have decided on how to settle this. We shall have a competition and whoever wins gets to keep her. The rules of the competition and the agreement in turn are as follows:

1. Don't hurt her- No matter what happens she is to never be harmed (unless consensually).

2. She may never know of the game.

3. Once the winner has claimed her as their prize all other participants must give them space and may only communicate with her when the winner is also present.

4. She must be fully sexually gratified. Her pleasure is of upmost importance.

The breaking of any of these rules will result in the termination of the game. In which case, all participants must meet up in person and she will be presented to another worthy player.'--

At the bottom of the page are 4 signatures and under each, printed in block letters are the names Karl, Dream, Sapnap and Punz.

Unable to read anymore, I throw the notebook across the room. It lands on the floor, pages strewn everywhere but the image of personal aspects of my life scribbled on a page is burnt into the back of my eyes. Has my whole relationship with Karl been a lie? Have I been used as some sort of toy, treated as an object, given to the winner of some dumb competition as a prize?

Memorable occasions from mine and Karl's relationship start flooding into my mind. Our first date. Our first kiss,. Our first time having sex, he was the first person I trusted enough to take my virginity but now the thought leaves me feeling disgusted. Just thinking about him touching me, his bare skin on my own, used to fill me with anticipation and a deep hunger for more but now I feel dirty and violated.

I start to desperately scrub at my skin, trying to wash away his touch. Sweeping the warm water over my body, I start at my arms. Arms that I used to drape over his shoulders as I watched him play video games. Then I move to my stomach to erase the trail of kisses he used to place on me when we were feeling playful. Next are my thighs and ass. I pay extra attention here just as he used to. My ass was his favourite place on my body, he loved pressing himself up against me from behind when he was hard as if warning me of what was about to come. My head feels dizzy as a sea of memories flies through it and I begin to scrub harder and harder, not caring that I have started tearing through the top layer of my skin.

I scrub till I am exhausted and red scratches have risen all over my body. Sinking my head back, I let the water run over my face, the soft pressure of it on my eyelids is soothing so I sink deeper, letting the depths fully submerge me. Thirty seconds pass and my lungs begin to feel tight as they are denied oxygen. I wait for as long as I can until my insides are now screaming for air before I allow myself to come up. The tap still runs, threatening to overflow but I do not care anymore. I'm too confused and overwhelmed to care, so I put my head back once more and fall into the silence.