Lesson 1: Ghosts do exist

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 The first thing you should know about ghosts is that they are real. The second thing you should know about ghosts is that you shouldn't be afraid of them. Oh, I am sure that some would love to frighten you just to feel useful. But the fact is, ghosts cannot affect the physical world. They just can't do anything that will harm you.

I would hate for you to be afraid of ghosts, because I am one. My name is Mr. James Harrison. In life I was a middle school science teacher, and in death I am a ghost. I believe that makes me a good person to write a book that teaches about ghosts. First, let me explain how I got myself into this situation. I will explain later how a ghost is able to write a book.

As I said before, I used to be a teacher. As a teacher, the thing I liked most was fieldtrips to the zoo. I tried to arrange zoo fieldtrips at least twice a year. One of these fieldtrips happened on a very windy day. The wind was blowing so fiercely that it blew my hat and reading glasses right off my head! My hat flew right over a wall. Now this wall had a window, and through that window I could see my hat floating right in the middle of a shallow pond. I will also mention that it was my best hat; a black bowler that went nicely with my suit. I told my students to wait for me. Then I climbed over the wall and hopped into the pond.

I keep thinking that things would be different if I had found my glasses first. Then I would have been able to read the sign on the wall. It looked like this.

But I didn't read the sign, and I was gobbled-up

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But I didn't read the sign, and I was gobbled-up. I suppose that I could have figured something out by looking at the picture even if I couldn't read the sign at the time. But it is no use crying over spilled milk. Aside from that, it was a fascinating demonstration of the majesty of the natural world, and as a science teacher I have always had an appreciation for such things.

I am under the impression that when most people die, their spirits go to some other place. I don't know if that place is heaven, limbo, nirvana, or whatever. After all, I have never been there. I am one of the very few spirits to stay right here on Earth. We get stuck on Earth because when we die, we are too worried about something and can't move on. Take me, for example: As I was being gobbled-up by a crocodile, I was worried about who would collect my students' reports on the zoo visit. I was so worried about this small detail that my spirit didn't move on. I became a ghost.

After dying I was rather disoriented for several hours. I was used to seeing with my eyes and hearing with my ears. Now I didn't have a body, which meant I had no eyes and ears. I had to learn to see and hear with my spirit. It takes some getting used to. When I finally got my bearings, I found myself floating over the pond. Near the edge of the pond, sunning himself was a crocodile that looked rather well fed. I have nothing against crocodiles, but I decided to leave. So away I floated to the school where I used to work.

One of the first things I noticed as a ghost is that no one could see me. No one I floated past noticed me, not even once, on my way to the school. When I arrived at the school it was already late. The students had gone home and the school was locked. I didn't have a key, but as a ghost I didn't need one. I just floated right through a wall into the classroom where I used to teach. There are some advantages to being a ghost.

Things seemed to be in order. The school must have called in a substitute teacher after I was eaten. The students' reports on the zoo trip were piled neatly on my desk. I am a ghost, so I couldn't pick up the papers and look at each one. I could only see the paper on the top of the pile. That paper was written by Danny Jones. Danny was one of my favorite students. He always has a way of looking at the bright side of things. His paper was titled "The Best Zoo Trip Ever."

Well, my students seemed to be coping with the loss of their favorite teacher. I didn't have any family to check on, so I decided I would just go haunt someplace for a while. I needed time to think about what I would do with my life now. Or it might be better to say I needed to decide what I wanted to do with my afterlife.


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