Lessons in the Occult

Lesson 2: Haunted houses aren't usually haunted

 Things get very lonely when no one can see you. I got so lonely that it reminded me of when I was alive, but a little worse. I didn't have any family while I was living, and I never really had any friends. But at least when I was alive I had my students to teach. Now that I was a ghost I didn't even have that. After a week of this I decided it was time to make some friends. I would go out and meet other ghosts. And the best place to meet other ghosts would be to go to a haunted house. Or so I thought.

I only knew of one house in town that was supposed to be haunted. I had heard some students whispering about it in my class, and I was curious enough to listen in. Apparently it had once belonged to an old fellow who had a cat called Old Muff. One day Old Muff disappeared, and the heartbroken man died from sadness. His spirit was said to still haunt the house in an eternal search for Old Muff. Well, I figured that I would go pay him a visit now that I was dead, too. I might even convince him to stop looking for Old Muff, who probably just found another family that fed him a better brand of cat food.

I found the house easily enough. It was just getting dark and I saw a small group of children looking at the abandoned house and whispering.

"If you look carefully, you can see the old ghost floating by a window..."

"You're making that up..."

"No, I have brother who knows someone who says they saw it. Still looking for Old Muff..."

That assured me that I had the right place. I floated right in to say hello. The problem was, I couldn't find any one to say hello to! As far as I could tell, the whole house was empty. But I had to keep trying. I searched that house diligently for about a week. I was about to give up, but as I floated away from the house I saw a large group of children looking at the house. What were they all doing there? I decided to listen in on what they were saying.

"I am starting to believe it, too. Bill and Jake both swear they've seen it..."

"I saw it myself. Searching for Old Muff like crazy..."

"You have to really try, but sometimes you are able to see the ghost for a few seconds..."

It sounded like a lot more people were seeing this ghost now. Maybe he was hiding from me. Well, I wasn't going to take that. I would just look for him even harder. He wouldn't be able to hide from me for long. I searched like crazy for another week. But once again I found nothing. I was beginning to think that there was no ghost there at all. I floated slowly away from the house. Then I stopped. There was a huge group of children watching the house this evening. They were all whispering with excitement.

"I hope I see it tonight. Most of my friends have..."

"He must have really loved that cat..."

"I saw him myself. You can just tell he is looking for something..."

It was really one of the most frustrating things. I was looking for this crazy cat loving ghost like wild and could never catch him. These kids just watched from across the street and they seemed to be seeing him a lot. So I didn't give up, of course. I kept looking. There wouldn't be a crowd like this if some of these kids weren't actually seeing a ghost. And that crowd of kids just got bigger, as well.

And then one day I heard some of the kids talking about the ghost again.

"I know there must be a ghost. Everyone describes him the same way."

"Ya, they say he looks about forty years old. That must have been how old he was when he died."

I was about forty when I died, too. This ghost and I would have a lot in common, if I could ever meet him.

"And he wears a suit. I wonder if he was buried in that suit."

Wow! This was getting weird. It just happened that I was wearing a suit when I died. Now if they said he was bald and wore round glasses then I would think they were talking about me.

"I heard he is bald and wears round glasses..."

Oh. I just floated there, completely speechless. Speechless and really, really, really embarrassed. It was bad enough that I had just spent weeks looking for a ghost that never existed, but it was even worse that I was responsible for a bunch of kids believing they saw that ghost. They saw me! And they thought I was searching for a cat!

As I floated away, feeling quite the fool, a cheerful thought came to mind. At least now I knew that people could see ghosts. With a little additional research, I was able to gather enough material for the next lesson.