Lessons in the Occult

Lesson 7: What are ghosts good for, anyway?

 I could see that Anthony was in serious trouble. I had not been worried, or not really worried, until the vampire took the garlic from Anthony and tossed it out of the cave. Being a ghost isn't terribly uncomfortable, but at that moment I wasn't feeling very useful.

What are ghosts good for, anyway? I thought to myself. I am just a useless spirit without a body. The plan I helped make went all wrong and my one friend in the world was going to die because of it.

The vampire was now moving close to Anthony's still form. Well, I thought, at least if Anthony dies of a vampire bite his spirit will move on. Of course his body will remain behind without a spirit and become another vampire, but there's nothing I can do about that. I didn't want to watch as Anthony was killed, but I thought it disrespectful to leave him alone in his last moments, so I stayed. The vampire was ready to strike. And at that point I suddenly had an idea!

* * *

The vampire blinked and looked at the young man that he held by the throat. Then the vampire spoke.

"Anthony, are you alright?" he asked

"I... I will be if you let go of me" Anthony croaked out.

The vampire looked a little embarrassed and dropped him promptly. "Is that better?" he asked.

"Yes" Anthony said in a shaky voice, "but... but vampires aren't supposed to be able to talk."

And then the vampire told Anthony what you have probably already guessed. "Anthony, it's me. I'm Mr. Harrison."

That's right! I had moved up right behind the vampire. As he reached toward Anthony, so did I. I grabbed Anthony by the throat with the vampire. I held my breath (not that there was anything to hold, since ghosts don't breath) and took the plunge. Now if I had tried jumping into you it never would have worked. You have a spirit in you already and I would bounce right off and land on my ghostly backside. Ghost cannot hurt you in any way, including trying to get inside you. Vampires, however, don't have a spirit in their body. I was able to get right in and take over. My idea had worked perfectly.

Anthony looked a little dazed still, so I sat him down and explained to him exactly what I had done. It took a little while but he looked visibly relieved when he understood and believed what had happened.

"But this is great, Mr. Harrison! Now you are alive again; you have a body!" he finally said. But then he saw that I wasn't sharing his excitement

"Or isn't it going to work that way?" he asked after a moment.

Unfortunately, it couldn't work that way. It isn't very comfortable being in a strange body. It feels wrong, like wearing a swimsuit you borrowed from an older cousin because you forgot your own. The fit is never right. I wanted out as quickly as possible. Also, the body was still a vampire, even if it had the spirit of a science teacher inside of it. The moment I walked into the sunlight the vampire body would turn to dust. In fact, this had been my intention from the moment I thought of hopping into the vampire. The vampire and I walked to the tunnel and crawled out into the sunshine. Anthony followed behind me, looking a little sad. I appreciated his concern for me. It felt really nice to have a friend. Once we stepped into the sunlight the vampire turned to dust and fell off me into a pile on the ground, leaving me feeling much more comfortable again. At last it was over.