Lessons in the Occult

Lesson 8: You don't need to worry about vampires

For my last lesson on vampires I just want to assure you that you don't have to worry about them. Chances are that you will never see one, because vampires are rare. In fact, they are becoming rarer all the time thanks to Anthony and me.

Jamie got better, or course. It took a few weeks, but by the time summer break started she was up and about again. She didn't know that Anthony and I had killed a vampire for her, but she was sure that Anthony had saved her life. After all, he had visited her and kept her spirits up when she was sick, and he was the one who suggested the blood transfusions that had helped her. Jamie thought that Anthony was a hero because he was a good friend to her, and I think she is right. So Anthony got the credit he deserved, even if no one knew what he had actually done.

Anthony and I are still working together, too. He thought we should keep hunting vampires, so that is what we do. Anthony looks in the newspaper and on the internet to find cases like what happened to Jamie. When he finds a case he sends me to find and kill any vampires that might be involved. It is a good system, since he stays safe and vampires can't hurt me. I just find them, go into them, and when morning comes I walk them out into the sunlight and they turn to dust. I am happier than I have ever been because I am able to spend my afterlife doing something good.

But how am I able to write a book? Well, one of the vampires I found was actually hiding out in a basement of a foreclosed home. I found him just after the sun went down, and I had to take over right then so that he wouldn't go feed on the living that night. Just sitting there waiting for morning got very boring very fast, so I looked around for something to do. I found some papers, pens, and even some postage stamps and envelopes. To pass the time I started writing lessons about what I had learned since dying. When morning came I put my writing into an envelope and mailed it to Anthony. Now I write a little whenever I take control of a vampire. Well, at least when I take control of a vampire who has pens and paper handy.