best of both worlds

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TW - mentions of suicide, nsfw

i wake up the next morning in a sweat. i sit up to rub my eyes, shaking off the nightmare i had last night and reach for my phone, 9:07am, i sigh and swipe up to unlock my phone and check my socials. ding. i click on the notification from Karl,

Karl :]

hey, can we talk now ?

9:10am

You

sure :)

9:11am

i noticed that Karl had read my message but didn't reply, instead his contact name and photo filled my phone screen and i swiped right to answer, "morning" he said, "hey" i reply, "what did you wanna talk about ?" i continue, hearing Karl sigh, "it's about Sapnap" he said, "what about him ?" i ask, confusion in my tone, "you seriously messed up y/n" he said in a quieter tone, "what do you mean ..?" i ask, he was quiet for a minute before continuing, "well to sum it all up, he had a girlfriend not long before you moved here" he paused to take a deep breath, "and basically things didn't end well and he .." Karl pauses, "he what ?" i interrupt, "he tried to overdose y/n" Karl sighs. my jaw drops, both ends of the line were quiet for a few moments, "so what are you saying ?" i break the silence, "just make the right choice, i want you to be with someone who makes you happy .. but i don't want Sapnap getting hurt again" he said before hanging up.

-

after finally getting out of bed, showering and picking out an outfit,

after finally getting out of bed, showering and picking out an outfit,

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i picked up my phone to message Wilbur,

You

omw :)

Wilbur <33

see you soon bby :)

i smile at my phone and slip it into my pant pocket before letting my Mum know i was going to Wilbur's, leaving out the front door and getting into my car, putting on one of my favourite songs.

(play fuck this town by glaive and eric doa for effect <3)

-

i park in Wilbur's drive way, shaking off the thoughts of last night and as much of Sapnap as i could before getting out of my car and walking to Wilbur's front door and knocking, "hey !" Wilbur opened the door, greeting me with a hug followed by a forehead kiss, "hi" i smile. we walk into his room and lay on his bed, talking about random things for a while .. we both enjoyed each other's company more when we were alone, not out in public. "i'm so lucky to have you" he smiled, brushing his hand on my chin and pulling it closer to him, kissing my lips softly.

i always enjoy doing these things with Wilbur .. it was just different this time, i can't stop thinking about Sapnap, his hands on my body, his lips on mine, hearing his sweet voice. god y/n you have a boyfriend. snap out of it. i thought to myself before coming back to reality.

"you good ?" Wilbur asks, looking right into my eyes, one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek, "yeah .. totally fine" i smile crookedly before kissing Wilbur again.

-

i pick up my phone off my chest, 6:23pm, *7 new messages*,  i quickly turn my phone off, "woah who's the weirdo texting you ?" Wilbur laughs, "oh just my friend, we haven't talked for a while" i lie, laughing nervously, "i better get going" i say sitting up from Wilbur's bed, he nods, "love you", shit. did he just say 'love you' ?? shit shit shit. say something y/n ! "mhm" i smile, quickly walking out of his bedroom, down the hallway and out the front door, having to catch my breath once i got in my car. i turn on my phone to read the messages from Sapnap,

Sapnap ;)

hey are you busy rn ?

5:30pm

can i come over ?

5:43pm

or you can come over

5:44pm

y/n ??

6:00pm

oh shit you're probably with Wilbur

6:12pm

can you text asap. i need to see you

6:15pm

text me when you read these

6:21pm

You

what's the emergency ? lmao

6:28pm

Sapnap ;)

thank god you answered. can i come over ?

6:29pm

You

sure but my Mum and Austin are home

6:29pm

Sapnap ;)

why does that matter ? you wanna get me alone ? ;)

6:30pm

You

oh get over yourself. i'll be home in 10.

6:30pm

Sapnap ;)

aight.

6:30pm

i scoff at my phone and quickly reverse out of Wilbur's driveway, heading straight home.

-

"your friend's here y/n !" i hear my Mum yell as i jump off my bed and run into the kitchen where Sapnap was, "hey" i smile, "sup'" he flashed a smirk, i signaled him to follow me and we disappeared into the hallway, receiving a devious smirk from my Mum. we walk into my room and i shut my door behind us, "why'd you need to see my so bad ?" i ask, sitting next to the boy on my bed, he sighs and turns his body to face me, crossing his legs, i do the same, "i've been thinking about you non stop" he said, "i only saw you last night" i laugh, "i know i know but .. i just needed to see you again" he smiled. oh my god his eyes ... his perfect jawline and perfectly shaved facial hair, his smooth skin i wanted touching mine. oh my god stop y/n,  i thought to myself before being interrupted, "wanna take a picture ?" Sapnap laughs, "huh ? oh sorry" i laugh nervously, not realising i had been staring at him, we inched closer and closer, i just wanted to kiss him and i know he wants the same. he hands met my face and mine met his, our lips connected and my heart was beating out of my chest. his hands explored my body, eventually moving me to lay beneath him, i watched as the boy kissed from my neck to my stomach, then to my thigh and ..

-

"i better get going" Sapnap sat up, i pull him back down, wrapping my arms around him, "noo" i groan, "i can't stay the night i didn't bring clothes !" he laughed, "you can shower later" i shush him and cuddle into him more, eventually falling asleep, he did too.

-

i wake up the next morning, feeling hot, i notice Sapnap's arms around me and i smile, soaking up his warmth before waking him up. "morning sunshine" i smile, "what time is it ?" he asks, "noon" i laugh before continuing, "my Mum left for work like 4 hours ago", "well that just means more cuddles" he hugged me tighter. as much as i wanted to get up because i knew it was wrong, i still didn't, there is something about Sapnap that Wilbur didn't have .. but i wasn't sure what. "we have to meet with the others" i say, sitting up to stretch my arms, "fine" he groaned.

an hour later we met with Karl, Dream and George at a local park for a picnic, avoiding answering questions about why we were together and just enjoying the last moments of summer with out best friends.



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