Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Overly drunk [Y/N]

"[Y/N] come on, don't make me drag you home because I will"

You were so sure you were walking with a group of people. But the alcohol misjudged your perception. You were seeing about 4 or 5 Sasori's ahead of you. You couldn't really count them, they kept moving.
"I'm commiiinnngggg~" He heard some rustling behind him and his head dropped down with a low sigh. He went and stood in front of the bush you just fell into, "Do I have to carry you"

"Noooooooo" you said raising yourself back up. He pulled a twig out of your hair and held his hand out, "Hold my hand then at least"
You took it and grinned, "If you just wanted to hold my hand you just had to ask, silly~"

He mumbled under his breath, "I'm never letting you drink again.."

When the house came into view, Sasori didn't expect your next moves. You steadied and quickened your pace for the door. You let go of his hand and went to open it. After many attempts to get the key into the door, Sasori took it out of your hand and did it himself after becoming impatient. You moved aside letting Sasori in, "Okay have a good night!" You closed the door with him in the house and you outside. He looked back at the door confused.

"Hm, Welcome - - I thought I heard [Y/N]'s voice?" Deidara peered from the corner. Sasori took his shoes off and headed into the house, "I wasn't asked to do this. Someone else help her."

The group overheard Sasori's words and got very confused. Deidara opens the door seeing you walking down the street, "[Y/N]?!" he called out.
You turned round, "Oh hey Dei!!!"

"Where are you going?Hm"

"Home!"

"YOU LIVE HERE!! HM"

"...oh" By your awful attempt at walking in a straight line he knew what happened, "How much has she drunk, Danna?"

"Too much" is all he said from the kitchen.

"Too much indeed if she's forgotten where she lives" Zetsu says chuckling at the sight

Deidara was about to put his shoes on but the Zetsu appeared in front of you, you hugged him tightly as a greeting as he brought you indoors. "Have you drunk any water? Hydration is key. For Plants and for humans"

Sasori walked over with a plastic container filled with water, passing it to you to drink. "I asked her to have water when we were out. But she thought it would be clever to drink a spirit and water together. 'Killing two birds with one stone' she said."

"Why the hell are you giving her a container and not a glass?" Kakuzu said walking over.
"She ain't a fucking dog Sasodick" Hidan joins in tow.

Sasori put his hand up, "Just wait.."

They watched and waited for you to finish the drink which you gulped down fast. You slammed the container on the ground aggressively and yelled out, "Another!"

A unison of understanding 'Ahhh' were made by the men in the room. Tobi chortled, "[Y/N]-chan thinks she's Thor!"

"So we can blame you for the copious of glasses she smashed." Sasori declared with irritation.

"Did you have to pay for them?" Kakuzu queried.

Sasori shrugged his shoulders, "She ran away fast enough so they didn't think it was her"

Kakuzu smiles at the thought.

"Why did you let her drink so much?" Kisame asked as he watched you pinching Hidan's cheeks saying he's adorable.

"I'm not her caretaker. My job was to take her home and now she's home. I did my part"

"Barely"

"You're so pretty~"
"Get off me! You stink of booze!"
"You're just jealous~"
"What? No. Well..yeah I'd like a drink but - - "
"How'd you get so pretty~"
"I'm not pretty, I'm fucking charming AND dashing!"
"Hehe Noooo that's Kuzu-chan"
"WHAT'D YOU SAY!?"

"What's Tobi!?" Tobi bounces into the scene in front of you. You attempt to peek under his mask multipe times and he jumps, twists and flips around you to get away, "I can't see but I imagine he's as beautiful as his soul"

Tobi immediately cradles you into his arms swinging you around, "[Y/N]-chan is so precious~~~~~~"

"Say.. [Y/N]-chan who's prettier Hidan or Deidara senpai" Tobi asks, eventually letting you down as you complain you are starting to get dizzy.

Deidara smugly smiles, "Hm, drunks words are sober thoughts. Of course she will say — "

You look around the room with blurry vision and smile wider than ever when you look up, "What's your name handsome?~"

The majority of the group laugh at you flirting with Kisame whereas he goes bright red in the face. Deidara puts his hands on your shoulders, turning you to face him, "No no, the question was me or Hidan. Now who is it?"

"Yeah, who's hotter?!" Hidan blurts out.

You turn round to reface Kisame, seeing him scurry away and hide quickly as his embarrassment grew. "Hey come bacccckkkk~~~ I haven't got your number yet"

When Kisame notices you chasing after him he immediately and frantically grabbed Itachi, apologising to him for the 'manhandling' and placed him in between the two of you in hopes to distract you.

"Hello [Y/N]" he greets calmly with a small smile.

Your eyes glistened and your smile grew, "Tachiiiii~~~~~~~~~"

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

You cupped his cheeks in your hand before bringing him in for an embrace. One hand rested on the back of his head/hair, allowing fingertips to stroke through whilst the other cupped around him keeping him close, "How can someone who always looks so sad and hurt be so wonderfully perfect"

"...because he offered you food?! Fucking hell girl you are drunk"

Itachi's eyes were wide and he did his best to hold his composure to your cute words that struck him hard. He pulled away and held your hand taking you into the kitchen, "I'm going to make you anything you want. Anything, okay? Just name it"