Please excuse ANY grammatical errors.
July 23, 1998
~DeVanté's P.O.V~
Silent but deadly... I farted and all the windows are rolled up because I have on the air. I pressed the window lock buttons so when she finally does smell it, we smell it together. What's mines is her's, right? That's what she says when she wears my clothes! I looked over to Tia with a side smirk and I saw her face scrunch up with her eyes squinted. Geesh, it smells like I shitted on myself! Did I?
"Now, DeVanté..." Tia trailed off loudly and I saw her hand go straight to the window lever but it didn't move. "Unlock the windows so I can breathe!" She wheezed out dramatically covering her nose with her jacket.
"What?" I looked at her seemingly confused. "Why?"
"MM-MM!" She said disgustingly. "You know why now let down this damn window." She coughed. "Allum."
"I don't..." I turned my head away from her to laugh silently but still paying attention to the road.
"DeVanté stop playing with me. Let them down because yo booty stankin'! Got the whole car over here smelling like Donkey Kong booty and breath!" She said to me.
I burst out laughing because I can't hold it no more. "How the hell you know what Donkey Kong ass smell like?"
"This! I image it smelling like yo funky booty ass. Let them down, DeVanté. Please!" You see how she's calling me DeVanté? She's angry but it's fine. She's not all the way there.
"Make me." I laughed.
"Man!" She sighed and sat back in her seat all upset. "I hope we almost there because yo ass funky."
She's irritated because she called me DeVanté and she's cursing. This is hilarious!
"Sharing means caring. THIS... Is my gift to you!" I laughed.
"Well, shove it back up yo ass 'cause I don't want it!" She told me. "Alright then... The next time I make beans, I won't tell you and I'll be sure to spend the night at yo house." She said shooting her finger out at me.
"You won't be in the room with me." I shrugged.
"Nahh, I'll make SURE that we attached at the hip that day. Mark my words." She rolled her eyes.
"Tsk, tsk, tsskk! Now, Tia, that shit is just ungrateful. I gave you a gift and you won't even accept it as you should. Anybody would be glad to smell DeVanté Swing farts." I said and farted again but this time it was loud.
Tia scoffed. "Really?"
"Yeah, baby. The best things in life are free and THIS is as free as things come." I smiled.
"Kiss my ass." She mumbled.
"I mean..." I smirked. "Look, this is a natural thing. What goes up must come down and what goes in must come out. In this case, it's gas!" I said cracking the hell up.
She smacked her lips. "Okay." She nodded with her nose still covered by her jacket.
"Okay." I mocked with a smirk.
YOU ARE READING
(18+) Come & Talk to Me: A DeVanté Swing Fanfiction
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