Heartstrings

Chapter 20: Sour

Jake's Perspective

Almost two weeks had passed since the night of the hot tub, and Emma and I had fallen into a delicate routine of secret meetings and stolen glances.

It was actually rather exhilarating - waking up next to her each morning and then promptly sneaking out of her room; making out with her in various empty classrooms and then checking the halls before leaving separately.

I'd wait for her at my locker each morning and we'd talk briefly and sometimes dare to walk into Calculus together. It was Thursday, the day before the State Championship, and the air was buzzing with excitement for the game.

I stood waiting at my locker for Emma in the morning as people passed me by wishing me luck. I waited and waited until the bell rang. Looking around the hallway, I contemplated the probability of having been distracted and missing her, but no - that couldn't have been it, I always noticed her. Her presence was like a special type of oxygen that I could sense in the air immediately.

I slung my backpack over my back and I looked down at my phone to text her. The hallways cleared as students sorted themselves into the classrooms that lined the hall. Meanwhile, I made my way towards the door at the end of the hallway. But just as I reached for the handle to the door, it swung open, startling me.

She was there, before me, looking wild and mad as hell. It was sexy - her, disgruntled and disorderly, with a frown dragging the corners of her pretty mouth downwards into a pout.

I watched her eyes soften a second as she registered that it was me in front of her.

- Emma. Are you okay?

- No. I am not fucking okay.

She stormed right past me.

- Woah, woah woah -

I turned and caught her elbow gently and led her into an empty classroom nearby.

- What happened?

She crossed her arms indignantly and looked to the corner of the room. I bit my cheek so as not to chuckle at her obdurate attitude and lifted her chin softly up to face me.

- Hey. What. happened.

- It's less about what happened and more about what didn't happen - what never happens.

I waited patiently for her to finish, and she sighed, almost as if she were a little ashamed or had just given up.

- My stupid excuse for a...

She shut her eyes and shook her head, holding back tears.

- I was supposed to go see my dad for Thanksgiving. My mom said I could go see him. She said I could get a flight and stay up there for the break. He told her I could do it. I haven't seen him in over a year now. And he's been avoiding my calls. I should've known.

She peered up at me and I marveled at her lugubrious eyes - even in sadness the metallic rings of her irises sparkled.

- This morning he told me he has something else to do that day and I can't come up. What the fuck else does he have scheduled ON THANKSGIVING??

- Shhh.

I pulled her into my arms as she grumbled curses at her dad and soaked my shirt with tears she shed despite herself.

For as much as I hated it, I related to her - empathized more than I wished to. No one ever prepares you for the ambiguous loss of a parent. It's not a final loss like death, it's a slow loss - a torturous flame you're forced to watch burn out.