Poems I Wrote

My Room

*TW* family problems, nobody caring or listening, mention of anger (punching, stabbing, slamming doors, yelling), mentions of giving up, and "hateful" words against people (family mainly).

my bedroom ceiling, my walls, my door, my bed, just my room
the only things that listen to my problems
they know everything
every little detail of how i feel
who else am i supposed to talk to
nobody listens
nobody cares
if someone does listen
it's after they talk about themselves
and they feel obligated to listen
they don't care
they HAVE to listen
they HAVE to pretend to care
but as soon as your done
or even see a good point to stop you
they go right back to talking about themselves
you might think "oh your just overthinking"
but no, i know what i'm talking about
i hear them talk
i see them stare
i see them care about each other
but what about me
do i not matter enough to listen to
am i not cared for
does my problems bother you
are you just so self conceited to not listen
the answer is no your not
you listen to other peoples problems
you care about others
but when it's me
it's different
so the only things to listen to me
are my bedroom ceiling, my walls, my door, my bed, just my room
i take my anger out on my bed
i tear out the fluff of my bed
i punch it
i stab it
i cry on it
it would probably hate me if it could
but at least it's there
it doesn't leave
i know it can't but still
i yell at my ceiling about my problems
just scream at it
and it just listens
maybe not talk back
but listens
and sometimes that's all i need
my door gets slammed a lot
i lock and unlock it constantly
i stand behind it listening
listening to them talk
listening to them have fun
they don't care about me
they only care about themselves
i'm done with trying
why should i try when they don't
i've stayed for this long with nobody to care
i'm not going to leave
i know there are people who care
they just don't show it well
and my family even if they don't care
their still my family, right ?
ha that's funny if i think that
family isn't always blood
they are mean
cold
distance
hateful
regretful
that's not family
that's just people you have to live with
people you tolerate
even if it's killing you
your real family is the ones who listen
the ones care
and that happens to be
my bedroom ceiling, my walls, my door, my bed, just my room

have a great day ~ jaiy ❤️ (459 words).