Gods Of Egypt

Chapter 7: Empty Again

I looked at Tona, right in to her eyes at the exact same time as well, as I was a little bit lost on what it was that she was even trying to say to me in the first place any ways. It felt quite a bit cold, what ever it was how ever, as I was fairly certain that it was not good at all for me, at the very least, since for some reason, I had come home to see that Tona was on the ground, right near the front of my home, and not even that, but also the fact that the front door to my house was left wide open at the exact same time too.
Some thing had happened, as it was clear, and it was obvious to me, but I just was not all too sure as to what it was that had happened in the first place how ever, as I then all of the sudden began to breath in quite a bit heavily, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that I should do in the first place any ways, as I then stared down at the ground, all at the exact same time too, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that I should say back to her.
Would she even under stand what it was that I was saying, if I even tried to speak to her? I was not all too sure, as it seemed like she was quite a bit out of it right now, and it seemed like she was in a different world right now. It was clear that some thing had happened, and it made me feel a bit sick, as I stared at the open door way that was in front of me, and I then began to squint my eyes at it, as if it was a person, and it would some how get some sort of feeling for what it was that I was doing.
I shook off all of those thoughts, all at the exact same time too how ever, as I then began to lift my self up just a little, from the spot that I had been sitting at with Tona on the ground, as I was tempted to go in side of the house. I was not all too sure as to what it was that I would see in side of the house how ever though, as I felt like there had to be some kind of reason, as to why it seemed to be right now, that Tona was covered in blood, which was clearly not her own.
Was it the blood of, dare I say it? The blood of my Sandy? I felt sick, as I felt like I wanted to vomit on the spot that I was standing right now. I was starting to get a bit of a grasp how ever, that some thing had happened to Sandy, due to the fact that the door was wide open for one thing, which was for sure not normal, especially since I had asked for Tona to take care of her through out the day. It led to the other point, that Tona was left standing on the ground right out side of my front door, and she was covered in blood.
Some thing had happened to her... Some one had done some thing to her, and it made me feel sick. If only I had been here, I might have been able to do some thing to stop all of it from happening in the very first place any ways. Sadly, I had not been here at all how ever, as I had decided instead, for some stupid reason or another, that I was going to go with my friend Randy, to go see Sabin, and find out more about the fact that we were going to go and start a rebellion.
A rebellion, against the evil world that we lived in, which should not have been what my focus was on, now that I thought on it a bit more. It was sadly too late for all of that how ever, as I stared back down at the ground, not even wanting to go in side of my home, for fear of what it was that I was going to find in side. This was all my fault, and I should have been there for her, but I had been a bit greedy, and I had decided to go and do my own thing, at a time that she would have needed me the most, which was due to the fact that she was pregnant.
I went to go and try to join a rebellion, which was one of the dumbest moves that I had pulled in quite some time, as I felt like I should have at least told her about it. I knew that she might have tried to get me to change my mind, as it was a lot of the reason that I had not told her in the first place. Now there was some one that was potentially stalking our house, waiting for me to go away, and do what ever it was that they were going to do to her.
I should have been there for her... I was not, and now I felt like I was left alone all of the sudden. I wanted to just bash my head in to the ground, but I knew that I could not, as I knew that I had to stay strong right now, as all of the sudden, some thing did in fact come in to my head all of the sudden, as it made me want to go and be a part of the rebellion even more. I remembered the fact that the government had been going and taking women and children, to some place, who knows where the hell they were going.
Maybe there was nothing that I could have done at all. That still did not make me feel any better, even if I knew that there was nothing that I could have done to stop them at all, I still felt like I should have been there to at least try to stop them. I knew that they would kill me if I did, but at least I would go down with a fight. That was, what the rebellion was for though, right? Odds are, for all that I knew, I would get caught, and I would get killed, but it would be for a good purpose.
Now that she was gone, which I felt like she was not dead, but she was some where else, as much as a lot of men wanted to say that their wife was when stuff like that happened to them, I felt like they had her locked up some where right now, and that she was still alive. I needed to go and find her... The rebellion... It was starting to all come in to play, all at once, as it almost felt like all of this was destined to go this way, as sick as it may make me feel to even think on all of this like that.
I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at once, as I also knew that I could not come to any sort of assumptions at the exact same time as well. I did not know what might have happened to my wife, but I was in fact fairly certain that she was not in my home right now. There was some one who did know what had happened to her how ever, which was of course the lady that was on the ground below me right now, just staring up at the sky, as it seemed to get colder and colder as each moment seemed to pass upon us all at once.
I looked at Tona right in her eyes, as I then saw her all of the sudden turn her head over to me, as it was clear that she had noticed that I was staring at her right now, as I then saw a few tears drop from her eyes, all at the exact same time as well. I knew that, whilst she might be a bit lost in her head right now, she did know as to what it was that had happened here, and she was the only person that I could get any sort of answers from in the very first place any ways, as I then all of the sudden nodded to my self, all at the exact same time too, before I then began to speak to her, all at once.
"What happened in there? Where is she now?" I asked her, as they were just 2 short and simple questions that I had asked her, as I felt like she was in a bit of a state of shock now, she could not answer any more questions that the one that I had just asked her in the very first place any ways. I looked at Tona for just a few seconds longer, as I had a bit of a blank look on my face at the exact same time as well, as I still felt like I could not come to any sort of assumptions, even though I was fairly certain I already knew as to what it was that had happened her in the very first place either way.
I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at once, as I then shook my head, doing my best to get my focus off of all of those thoughts all at the exact same time as well, as I kept my eyes on Tona for just a little while longer, not all too sure as to what it was that I should do right now, than to just wait for her to respond to the question that I had just asked of her in the very first place any ways. Tona seemed to just be staring at me right in to my eyes, as I could still tell that she was just a little bit lost in her head right at this very moment in time, as it did not seem like she could actually respond to what it was that I had even asked her in the first place.
I dipped my head a little bit low to the ground, as I was really not all too sure as to what it was that I should do at this very moment in time, as I kind of felt like I should just give up on all of this, and call it a quits. I had never been one to be suicidal at all, but I kind of felt like I should now, due to the fact that my wife was gone, and I really did not have any sort of hope of getting her back at all either, even if the rebellion did go some where, I knew that the rebellion was not going to work for me at all.
I also knew that my wife was not going to come back to me either, so I should not just give up. I should at least stand my self up, and I should fight back against all of this evil that was even going on in the first place any ways, as I then squinted my eyes at the ground, as if the concrete floor that I was staring down at right now was going to all of the sudden stare right back at me, and then respond to what it was that I had just thought of it the first place, as I had not even spoken it out loud.
I felt like a bit of an idiot, even if people did view me as a very smart guy, I did not feel that way right now. I felt like I should just give all of it up, and just end my life, which I knew was very stupid to me. I knew what it was that I had to do, but it felt like there was some thing that was in my head right at this very moment in time, that was trying to tell me to do some thing completely different than all of that. I did my best to try to drown out all of those thoughts from my head, all at the exact same time as well, as I then breathed in just a bit, all at the exact same time too.
I turned my head back of to Tona instead, as I saw from the corner of my eye, that she was starting to lift her self up a bit, as if she was not as lost as she was a few moments ago. I could still tell that she was in a bit of some state of shock at this very moment in time, but it seemed like she was at least having a bit of a grasp now as to what it was that was going on in the first place any ways all of the sudden, as she saw that I was now back from who knows where it was that I had gone, at least to her, and she had to explain to me what it was that had happened in the very first place any ways.
Tona seemed to just look around for a little while longer, which I was okay with, even if I wanted her to respond to what it was that I had said to her a few seconds ago, as soon as possible, I knew that she was still a little bit lost right now, and that I should not rush her at all, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh, all at the exact same time as well, before I then began to hear her start to speak to me all of the sudden, finally, at the exact same time as well, as I saw her nod to me, to try to get my attention on to her at the exact same time too, which made a lot of sense, as I felt quite a bit lost in my head right now.
Luckily, I was still awake enough to at least notice that she had in fact nodded to me, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh all at the exact same time too, as I then looked at Tona right in to her eyes, before I then nodded right back over to her, to let her know that I was aware as to what it was that was going on at this very moment in time, and to also let her know that I had my focus on her as well. Tona then began to speak to me all of the sudden, finally, as I then in fact did begin to listen as to what it was that she had to say to me in the very first place any ways.
"They took her... Those people... They were so strange... Like nothing that I had ever seen before..." She said to me, as I knew exactly who it was that she was talking about all of the sudden, now, as I then dipped my head a bit low to the ground at the exact same time too, as I felt quite a bit low right now, and I felt like I should just give up at the exact same time as well, even though I knew that I had to stay strong. This was what it was that the rebellion was for in the very first place any ways of course, which was to stop any of this evil from happening ever again, to innocent people such as my wife.
Even if the government had tried to say that the people were not innocent, and they were just trying to take the children away, to raise them in a better place, I felt like that was not the case at all how ever, as I had been told some of the things that sick men did to women and children, as I had not even want to think on what it was that might be going on with my wife at this very moment in time, as I was fairly certain that it was quite a bit sickening to even think on, much less even be doing right now.
Those people did not know what was sick at all how ever, as they felt no remorse at all for some of the evil shit that they did, which made me feel quite a bit low, as well as the fact that it made me feel sick at the exact same time too, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh once again, as I then continued to just stare down out the ground, due to the fact that I was not all too sure as to what else it was that I should be doing at this very moment in time at all, any ways, as I then just began to cry all of the sudden, at the exact same time as well, as I felt like some thing had to be done, but I was not sure if I was strong enough at all, to do any thing about it right now.
I dont think that I was ever strong enough to do any thing, nor was I sure that I would ever be good enough, or strong enough to do some thing about all of this evil that I lived in right now. It was not like this before, or not nearly as bad as it was now, when I was a lot younger, but those times were in the past now, as I felt a bit sick for even trying to support some of the evil that was going on before I even knew what was going on in the first place any ways as well. I knew that I was not the only person who had supported it as well, as I also knew that there were some people that still supported it.
The ones that did support it still, we're usually very rich, and were a lot higher up in the rankings of the class that was all around us how ever. There was a lot less of them than there used to be, which one might think would be a good thing, but that was not the case at all how ever. I lifted my head up all at the exact same time too, as I did my best to try to not get too upset about all of it, nor to get too focused on it at the exact same time as well, as I felt like I just needed to regain a bit of some sort of control over my self, and the mind and mental state that I was in right now, before I made all sorts of these big and cool plans to do any thing about this.
I shook my head, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the exact same time too, as I could see that Tona still had her eyes on me right now, from the corner of my own eyes, as I knew that she was waiting for some kind of response from me, as to what it was that she had just said to me, and what it was that she had meant by it in the first place. I did believe that she had tried to stop them, and I was a bit worried as to what the blood was for, but I felt like it was best to not focus on all of that right now, as I was so worn out from the day that I had just had.
I felt like I should just wait for the morning before I continued to ask her so many questions, as it felt like it was a lot more of a smarter move, due to the fact that I knew that she was in quite a bit of some sort of state of shock at this very moment in time, as that was more because I knew that she had her thought on what it was that had happened to my wife, and also the fact that she had tried to stop all of it, which she had failed miserably, as I was sure that it was a group of grown men that had taken her in, and Tona was simply just an older lady, and there was only 1 of her.
I shook my head once again, as I got my focus off of all of those thoughts all at the exact same time as well how ever, as I then finally got my self fully up from off of the ground all of the sudden too, as I helped Tona up none the less at the same time as well, so that I could get her ready for what it was that we were going to do next, which was of course simple, but at the same time too, I felt like I really did not want to be alone at all on a night like the one that was going on at this very moment in time as well.
I stared at Tona right in to her eyes, as I then finished helping Tona up from off of the ground, as I then nodded to Tona at the same time as well, to let her know that I was about to speak to her. Tona was still in a bit of some sort of a state of shock, as to what it was that had just happened to her, not all too long ago from now, but she did in fact nod back to me how ever, to let me know that she was listening to what it was that I had to say to her in the very first place any ways, which made me feel a little bit better at the same time too, as I did in fact begin to start to speak to her all at once.
"I am going to assume that you are talking about the government, and the leaders... They took her..." I said to her all at once, as I looked her dead in to her eyes to make sure that I was in fact right with the assumption that I had made, as it was the assumption that I had made from the beginning, but it was one that I did not want to believe that it could be true, even though I knew that it was a real thing that was going on in the world right now, as I had been told by from several people that I had worked with in the very first place any ways. I let out another soft sigh to my self, which seemed to be a lot louder than I had meant it to be, but Tona did not seem to be all too worried about that at all right now, thankfully enough, as I saw that she had her head a bit low to the ground still, as if she was not all too sure as to what it was that she should say back to me. She did not need to say any thing back to me at all how ever, as I simply just wanted to make sure that I was right with what it was that I had thought had happened in the very first place any ways. It did not take all too much longer after all of that how ever, for Tona to eventually nod back to me, to let me know that I was in fact correct with what it was that I had just said, which did not surprise me at all, at the exact same time as well, obviously. I sighed just a bit to my self once again, as I too just stared down at the ground, as I was not all too sure as to what it was that I should do next, nor was I all too sure as to what it was that I should say back to her, at the exact same time as well, as I just continued to stare down at the ground. I was tempted to ask what it was that they had looked like, as I had been wanting to know for quite a very long time for some odd reason or another, but I just kept my mouth shut on all of those thoughts how ever, as I knew that it was not the best question to be asking at all, at this very moment in time either, as I then shook my head all at the exact same time as well, once again. I was not all too sure as to what else it was that I should do, nor was I too sure if I wanted to hear any more on what it was that she had to say to me, about what it was that had just happened at my house in the very first place any ways, as I gulped just a bit, at the exact same time as well, before I then lifted my head back up to her. I knew that I had to say some thing to her how ever, at the very least, as I then nodded a bit to her, to get her attention on me, which I did a good job at, as I saw her lift her head back up to me, and then nod right back over to me, to let me know that she was in fact listening to me, which made me feel quite a bit better too, as I then did in fact begin to speak back to her all of the sudden, once again. "Well... I do not know what else it is that I should do... I suppose that you can come stay at my house for the night... I have an open bed in the other room, it should be clean, as it always is... You can stay here for the night, and we can talk more on all of that in the morning."
I looked at Tona dead in her eyes, to make sure that she had heard each and every word that I had just said to her in the very first place any ways. Tona, luckily enough for me, did not have her head dipped low to the ground, such as she had before, which did in fact make me feel a little bit better about all of this, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh of relief all at the exact same time as well, before I then decided that it was my turn to dip my head low to the ground once again.
I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was going on with my at this very moment in time either, as I felt like this was a moment that I needed to stay strong, but it was just a little bit hard for me to do such a thing, as I felt quite a bit of guilt as to the fact that I had left my wife alone, even if the reason as to why I had done that, was even more clear than ever, I was just to blind to see all of that how ever, as right at this very moment in time, I felt like I did not want to think on it for any longer.
It came back to me, all at the exact same time as well, as to the fact as to what it was that I had just said to Tona in the very first place any ways, as I remembered that I had just said that we should go in side my place, and we should get some rest for the night, as I let out a bit of a right and a soft sigh all at the exact same time as well, before I then eventually saw Tona nod to me at the exact same time as well, to let me know that she had heard what it was that I had said to her in the first place, and that she was agreeing with me on it, which did in fact make me feel a little bit better.
I felt like I needed to be in the same air space of a good person tonight, after all that had happened right now, and all that was going on through my head right at this very moment in time. I knew a stupid part of me wanted to go and try to chase down the people that had taken my wife, and my unborn baby child, but I knew at the very least that it was a stupid idea, and a stupid thing for me to do how ever, as I knew that I just needed to get some sleep, and do some thing about the rebellion that I had just heard of today, which I was more sure than ever that it was some thing that I needed to join.
I felt a bit off right now, if I was not going to lie to my self, as I then began to head over to the front door to my home, which felt a lot more empty than it normally seemed to be, even if I was not even in it just yet. I stopped my self at the front, as I was not sure if I did in fact want to be in there, but at the exact same time too, I could feel my self freezing at this very moment in time already, and I knew that I needed to get in side and sleep at the exact same time as well, as I was quite a bit worn out, as it was already, so far.
I heard the foot steps of Tona behind me, as I knew that she was following me in side of my place, I felt a bit relaxed once I knew that she was, as I really did not want to be alone on a night like tonight, after all that I had just learned already so far tonight. I let out a lot more of a loud sigh this time, for Tona to hear for certain this time, as I then all of the sudden began to head in to my home, as it felt a lot more warm in side of hear, even if the cold drafts of air had froze up the place a little bit.
Once I got fully in to the place, I turned my head over to Tona, to make sure that she was still following me, which of course, she was, as she really did not have much of any other place to go, beside her own place of course, which I was sure she did not want to be alone either, after a night like tonight, as I knew that she was already lonely as it was so far, just due to the fact that she did not have her husband any more, to always be with her there. I felt quite a bit bad for her never the less, but I did my best to try not to focus on all of those thoughts right now, as I then all of the sudden, saw Tona nod her head to me at the exact same time too.
I tilted my head a little bit, over towards her, due to the fact that I was a little bit lost as to what it was that was going on right now in the very first place any ways, but I did in fact eventually nod back over to Tona, to let her know that I was paying attention to her, as it was clear that she was about to speak to me. We stared at each other in silence for a few more moments, before she did in fact begin to speak up to me, finally, and I did in fact begin to listen as to what it was that she had to say to me in the very first place any ways.
"I am sorry about all of this... I... I... I don't really know what else to say... Thank you for giving me a place to stay the night... This is hard on me too, I did my best to stop them..." She said to me, as she pointed down at her dress at the exact same time too, pointing at the blood that she was covered in right at this very moment in time never the less as well, to let me know that she must have got one of those guys bleeding quite a bit bad, and she must have got hit pretty hard at the exact same time too, as I could tell she was a little bit off with her words for a much different reason than I might be thinking on right now. I felt quite a bit bad for her, as much as I felt bad for my self, as I knew that I had found her on the ground. I was about to dip my head a bit low to the ground, due to the fact that I was a bit lost in my head right now, until I began to hear her begin to speak once again, as I quickly lifted my head up, to hear as to what it was that she had to say once again, in the first place any ways. "Goodnight Randolph... May God rest our souls tonight..."
I looked at her right in to her eyes, as I was quite a bit shocked as to what it was that she had just said to me in the very first place any ways, as I really had never viewed her to be any sort of a religious woman at all. I knew that the government had removed all of the churches once they had taken over, so that also had a lot to do with the reason as to why I was so shocked in the very first place any ways, as I felt quite a bit sick right now.
I shivered just a bit all at once, as I then all of the sudden nodded to her at the same time as well, to let her know that I had heard as to what it was that she had even said in the first place. I was not all too sure as to the fact that I believed in a God at all, due to the fact that I was fairly certain that no God would make the world as cruel as it was right now, at least, that was what the hope was, if there was actually a God out there some where.
I shook off all of those thoughts all at the exact same time as well, how ever, as I saw that there was a blank look on the face of Tona now, as if she had not actually said what it was that she had said, or if she had not believed what it was that she had said either, as I saw her begin to go over to the smaller guest bed room that was further down the hall way that was in the place that I lived in, which you had to go through the living room to reach.
She knew as to where it was though, as she had been here plenty of times, due to the fact that I had her usually taking care of my wife, Sandy, when I was not at home, and when I was at work. I felt like this was destined to happen to matter what the case was, as I still felt a bit sick as to that fact either way, as I let out a bit of a soft sigh once again, to my self, as I then watched as Tona nodded to me, before walking in to the guest room, and closing the door.
I nodded back to her, even though she was long gone from the room that I was in, as I shook off all of those thoughts at the exact same time too, as I then began to head over to my own bed room, which I felt was going to make me feel a bit sick as to the fact that I was going to be alone in that bed, for perhaps that first time in my entire life, as I had slept with my wife every single night that we had been together, ever since we had got married with one another, as I had loved her to death.
I felt a bit sick, as to the fact that I had viewed the word love, as a past tense word, as if she was gone already, and there was no way to ever get her back. Frankly, that might be true for all that I knew how ever, as I was not all too sure if there was in fact ant sort of way to get her back at all, as I felt quite a bit sick to even think of all of those thoughts in my head at the exact same time as well. There was nothing that I could do how ever, as I felt quite a bit dark right now.
I gulped just a bit, as I then opened to door to my bed room, as I got my focus off of all of those thoughts at the exact same time as well, as I stared at the empty bed that was in front of me, as it felt like that only seemed to make things even worse for me, due to the fact that I was not used to coming in to my bed room, and seeing that it was empty, as I knew that my wife usually slept in the bed a lot of the day, due to the fact that she was so worn out from carrying our baby around with her all of the time.
I wiped the tear that was falling down from my face how ever, as I got my focus off of all of those thoughts at the same time as well, as I then began to go and sit down on the bed that was right in front of me at this very moment in time, as I reached my hand out at the exact same time as well, once I was in the bed, only to see that there was no one there with me at all, which made every thing feel even more cold. I did my best to not think all too much on it how ever, as I held on to the blanket instead.
That did not make me feel any better about all of this how ever, as I then just let all of the tears pour out all of the sudden, from my eyes, now that I was alone this time, as I was not all too sure as to what else it was that I should do right now, as I knew that I could not hold all of this in for any longer. I let the tears fall down from my face, as I then all of the sudden stared up at the ceiling, and I began to start to speak to my self all at the exact same time too, trying my best to not be too loud never the less.
"Why? Why God? I don't want to be alone... I don't want to be empty again..."