rayemma oneshots & other

Don't Die On Me

• Oneshot

Spoiler warning for chapter #52 and onward - mentioned characters, mentioned event

Note: AHHHH i read the write the stars re zine yesterday and it was so nice, all my favorite artists and authors :') it reminded me of how attached I am to these two like- i need help

Ray had to pause sometimes.

When it came to travel, he and Emma would usually set off in the early mornings, when the dawn was new and demons weren't as active, still nestled sleepily within the trees. The pair's footsteps were silent against the ground, and they seldom spoke, only sharing a glance when they'd change directions or a flick of the finger to signal 'get into a hunting crouch'.

So, dawn was the safest time. 

Also, this was embarrassing, but Ray thought Emma looked prettiest in the sunrise. 

(He would know, since he was sort of becoming a professional at admiring Emma.)

One such morning was a hunting trip. Emma was standing before a meadow, fresh and vivid green from spring, and the sunlight spilled over her hair and shoulders.

Her hair was actually turning darker as she got older, but that splash of sun made it glow yellow. With her glinting yellow hair and the light reflecting off her white coat, she looked like a radiant sunbeam, or some angel. Ray squinted at the sight of her, since she was overwhelmingly bright, but he wouldn't dare look away.

And the morning was quiet. The breeze made every little pinch of her hair shuffle and flow. She stood determinedly, staring at the great expanse in front of her.

Ray stared at her, unashamedly. He used to look away and heat up in the face when he caught himself doing this, but he didn't care anymore.

How could he stop looking?

Since he was left alone with his thoughts on these trips, Ray thought a lot about… his old self. And how that kid would react to a morning like this.

He just knew that to twelve year old Ray, this scene in front of him right now… would look so unrealistic, something he could only dream about.

Yet here it was. He was living it.

He also knew that, to younger Ray, staring at Emma like this with a stupid puppy dog fondness in his eyes would be pathetic, something his old self couldn't even fathom. After all, he used to be so prone to pushing her away, even avoiding her, perhaps because he thought he was just too far gone and different to be around her bright, untainted self.

He'd inwardly smack himself thinking of all the dumb things he used to say, even if he understood that they came out of a place of fear or internal conflict. He knew he was different now, and that he'd never look at Emma with irritation like that again, even if she did do something stupid or pissed him off. Now, he might be angry for a moment, but it'd surely dissolve into laughter or fondness for her.

Ever so often, he'd just remember how differently he treated her then as opposed to now…

How literally everything about him had changed.

He imagined his old self, smaller, resentment and fear and arrogance and selfishness abound, sitting in the empty dining room at midnight on his twelfth birthday.

He imagined that he was standing in front of that old version of him, and his old self was amazed, even slightly terrified, of just how new and different Ray was now.

He smiled, and now he was back in reality standing at the top of the meadow, Emma still standing there with her bow at ready. 

He absently walked forward, and without a shred of hesitance slipped his fingers through hers. Without even looking at him, Emma squeezed his hand in return.