The Long Journey Home

20: We don't choose what stays with us, only how we carry it

[ Chapter notes: TFATWS 1x06 ]

          The newscast stays in your head long after your stomach is empty, long after the dry heaving has stopped.

          << ... the controversial Patch Act the GRC ... What it means for the upwards of 20 million refugees it would send back to their home countries of origin... >>

          It brings with it the ruins of Novi Grad. The sounds and screams and jagged fragments of memory of your life there and the televised images of what remains. A country torn apart. A country that is no more. Where will they send you if the Patch Act gets passed? There won't be choices. It won't be an optional return trip. It will be a command.

          Sleeping, or trying to, isn't wise. Or likely to happen. Between the memories far too close to the surface and the sharp complaints of an empty stomach...

          At least your restlessness isn't keeping Bucky awake. Or maybe it is. All you did was acknowledge his return to the apartment as you clung to the bowl of the toilet. All you offered him were reassurances, between gagging and the forced ejection of your stomach contents, that you didn't need a bathroom monitor. You were just fine alone in your own little hell. You'd surface eventually -- or successfully dehydrate yourself like you'd attempted to do this morning. You'd gain control again. Eventually.