Cursed Hearts

Point of No Return

Ever since Emma's failed rescue mission, his house had turned into a place for nonstop contention. It had been two days now, and every second spent cooped up in his room felt centuries long. He had been a part of their heated discussions at first, feeling the loss of his mother as a fresh cut wound, but soon grew too annoyed and depressed listening to the Charmings battle between one another on who would return to properly get his mother back. They were all irritated at Emma's reserved nature since her journey to the alternate universe; it was so unlike her, and unsettling to know that any version of his mother could cause her to react like that. Snow insisted that she could go, seeing as she knew Regina at the time she was apparently trapped in. David quickly disregarded her stance, saying it was far too dangerous for her and that he would go instead. Then Emma, though said with hidden uncertainty in her tone, pushed for herself going back- she was the product of true love, after all.

It was all maddening to the fifteen year old. After leaving the living room (his living room) in a huff, he took one of his mother's xanax pills and buried himself under his bedcovers, begging for his mind to slow down. As if he didn't already have things to be stressed out about, now he was cursed with a more concrete idea of where his mother was. Naturally he was curious to know where in her past she wound up in, but only when she had returned and could tell the story herself. From what little Emma shared about her experience, his mother was in a dark place- the person she described seemed nothing like the mother he knew.

Then there was August. He heard absolutely nothing from him since their awkward encounter, and each passing day caused his anxiety about the whole thing to skyrocket. Kissing him definitely wasn't what he intended, but ever since he did, Roland couldn't stop thinking about it. But, after not hearing anything from him, he abruptly came to the conclusion that his best friend didn't share the same feelings. Why did he always have to make things worse?

Groaning audibly, Roland knew there was no chance of relaxing. The heated conversations from downstairs could still be heard through his closed bedroom door, and his heart was still pounding loudly in his ears. It was exhausting constantly feeling this way, struggling with everything and achieving nothing. He was sick of it.

Rolling out of bed, Roland pulled on some decent clothes and headed out the door, bypassing the drama without gaining any attention. He had no plan; all he knew was finally leaving his house felt freeing, even in the chilly Maine air. August's house wasn't too far of a walk- it was on the other side of Main Street, where the neighborhoods were more spread out. August's grandfather, Gepetto, bought a few horses in the more recent years.

When he got there, August was exactly where he expected him to be- in the open garage, woodworking tools in hand as he worked on shaping the piece of wood in front of him. All of his attention was focused on his project- it took a good minute for him to notice Roland standing in his driveway.

As soon as their eyes made contact, Roland felt a rush of anxiety, suddenly unsure on what to say.

"Oh... hey," August said, setting down his tools and wiping the dust off his hands on a cloth. "Have you been standing there long? I totally lose track of everything when I'm out here."

Roland's hands immediately jammed into his pockets as he tried to keep a casual look on his face. "Not long. How's the project coming along?"

August had been working on a piece ever since he started high school. All of his free time was spent tinkering away bit by bit.

"You know," he sighed, "same old thing. Never ending fun."

He paused for a moment. "I, uh, heard how things went with Emma. I'm really sorry your mom is still missing."

Roland, still awkwardly standing in the driveway, dropped his gaze. "Yeah, I hope it ends soon."

Heading over to the small fridge stowed in the corner of the garage, August took out two cans of coke and waved Roland over. Soon they were both sitting on the old futon against the back wall. He had spent so much time in that garage over the years; it had basically turned into their go to hangout place. Roland couldn't count the number of times he had relaxed on that futon with his friend.

"Last time I was here I was complaining about why Alex didn't like me," Roland admitted, the casualness of the environment tricking him into saying something stupid.

Laughing awkwardly, August took another sip of soda. "That was before everything got... crazy."

He begged to not be the one forced to address the elephant in the room. As the seconds ticked by, however, it seemed that not saying anything was a worse fate. His life was already in shambles, why not add more fuel to the fire?

"Listen- about what happened... My emotions are kind of everywhere right now."

August thought for the right words- to Roland's surprise, he smiled. "Honestly, I was confused at first. I figured you were... caught up with everything."

Hearing him say that twisted something inside of him. Sure, he wanted to alleviate the discomfort between them, but a part of him wanted August to not completely regret what had happened.

"So... where do we go from here?"

Having long since finished his coke, Roland found himself staring at the empty can in his hands. His mind was sluggish, the xanax finally kicking in.

"Look, you'll always be my friend," August continued, after enduring some silence, "why don't we just forget it ever happened? One day you're family will be back together and you'll go back to school. Everything will go back to normal."

What he said sounded nice, but Roland knew it wasn't true. Even if his family all came back safely, things would be far from normal. Zelena attacking his mom, Caroline being hunted by an Ice Queen, kissing August... all of these things moved them past the point of no return.

Roland didn't know if he could ever see August as just a friend again. The kiss seemed to change everything about his countenance- features he barely even noticed about him suddenly stood out dramatically, like the freckles on his nose or the way his red hair was slightly wavy at the ends. God, what was happening to him?

"You're right," Roland finally said, forcing a smile, "I have so many things to worry about. I didn't want this to be another thing."

"Well I'm always here if you need anything. And I know I said this before, but you should talk to Alex, even if she has a boyfriend now. The more friends the better, right?"

He couldn't even think about Alex in the state of mind he was in. But he nodded anyways, standing up from the futon and wishing his friend a good rest of his day. He began to walk back to his house, his mind still managing to formulate stress and fear regarding his family. Not being able to control the thoughts terrified him, so he picked up his pace until he was at a jog, plummeting down the street with the remnants of his energy. When he finally got back to the house, Emma, David, and Snow could still be heard in full discourse. Opening the front door, Roland managed to take a few steps inside before collapsing to the ground.