One Because of a Thousand Whys (Novellete)

PART TWO: THE OUTBURST

PART TWO: THE OUTBURST

"Yo! What's up?" He flashed a grin and even waved his hand in front of my face!

None of my thoughts came into reality. The man approached me as if we had been close friends since time immemorial.

He looked down, and to my surprise, he snatched the plastic bag sitting on my lap.

"That's mine!" My arm instinctively stretched and followed the plastic bag, but his reflexes were too quick to put my thing out of my reach.

"Hmm, what's this?" He took steps backward, creating a meter distance between us. He raised the plastic bag and examined it.

"If you want something from me, if you want to steal something from me, I'm begging you, please, please... take everything I have! Just don't take those medicines away!" I said hysterically.

"Woah!" He stopped looking at my meds and jerked his head back, meeting my eyes. "Did you just accuse me, a handsome man, of being a snatcher?" With a contorted face, he fanned himself using his free hand. "This is unbelievable!"

"You're the unbelievable one! Getting others' things without permission is considered snatching, so, please..."

I needed that plastic medicine because the end of my life, my pain, my probation, and my suffering depended on those pills.

"Give it back to me." I extended my arm, palm facing the sky, with the hope that he would give it back, but he just stuck his tongue out.

"Bleh! Don't want!"

"Then, I'll report you to the nearest police station and you will be imprisoned!"

"Ah." He nodded three times as if he were trying to process my words. "Then, let's go! Let's go to the nearest police station and we will report each other!"

"What the hell? Are you some kind of crazy person who escaped from an asylum?"

His bright smile slowly vanished. "You didn't violate any of the human rights. Not yet. Not for now. You haven't violated any of those yet, but once you get home, you will be committing the biggest crime. You will be a murderer any minute from now on. Because you are planning to kill yourself by drinking these."

My heart leaped for a moment, and then made a series of thunderous thumps. How did he know? Was it that easy to guess when a person had that many medicines?

Pause.

A long pause of silence between us. For a moment, only the howling of the wind reigned.

Until he broke it by taking one step forward and his shoe rustled against the leaves. "Everyone, from the largest to the smallest animal, living in this world, has a purpose, especially humans. Have you already found yours?"

His fingers formed a gun and he pointed it at me. "Bang! Bang!" He shook his head. "I guess, you haven't found it yet because you are eager to die. You are eager to say goodbye, even though it's not yet your time. Miss, don't retire before your time. You're missing your purpose."

I balled my fist and glared at him. "And how dare you tell me those words? You have no idea what I've been going through. You have no idea because you're just a judgemental monkey smelling and meddling with other people's business," I said in a sharp yet calm tone.

"Then, I conclude that you are weak. Vulnerable. Frail. Poor. Pathetic. Merciful. Pitiful."

"How could you—!" Lines of warm fluid streamed down my cheeks. I wiped them with the back of my hands. "You can say those words because you know nothing – you know nothing about me. You're just a boring man who loves to interfere with others' businesses."

"Look around!" I shouted. "And open your eyes to the feelings of those who want to kill themselves. You don't know how painful it is for us not to be noticed in this world full of people. You don't know the feeling of being left all alone in the darkness! You don't know the feeling of being voiceless even though I was already shouting! You have no idea how difficult it is for me to wake up every morning knowing it will be another pointless day! You don't know how desperately I wish every day to encounter different accidents that would end my life! You don't know the feeling of being numb that even I write lines on this part of my skin!"

I showed him my wrist, revealing the series of lines that expressed more than what I could say. "I can't feel the pain anymore because my body has already surrendered! The pain was too much and it had already made me numb!" I paused to inhale. "So, stop telling me how weak I am," I said in a hoarse voice, almost in a whisper. "You don't know how complicated the battle I'm facing is. Those who try to commit suicide are the strongest because they are not afraid to face death. And even though you disagree, I just want to remind you that facing death is the hardest struggle that a person could face, but for a person like me, it is the most beautiful gift I would love to receive. "

He turned his eyes away. "In conclusion, facing life is harder than facing death."

I wanted to slap him! "Suicide is the only way to escape this horrible life! It is the only way to stop the endless pain because, for me, death is the only way to end the feeling of being worthless. Life has never been more beautiful. I'm luck's enemy because it has never knocked on the door of my life. So, now tell me, is suicide only for the weak and cowards? " I watched him look in my direction as I prepared myself to answer my question.

"No. Death is the only happiness for a person like me, and it must be a prize for someone like me who finds waking up every day the biggest struggle I have to face."

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