One Because of a Thousand Whys (Novellete)

PART FIVE: THE DEATH THAT SAVES

PART FIVE: THE DEATH THAT SAVES

I found myself standing in front of an unfamiliar glass window. I examined myself—checking my still intact and clean clothes with no trace of blood at all; checking my arms and limbs with no wounds or cuts.

No pain. No uncomfortable feelings.

Odd.

I ran my finger across the window where my reflection was.

"This is not I," I said, still caressing the glass. It was not the recent me. It was a reflection of me two years ago when I was still physically well. My almost hairless head was transformed into long, silky, black hair, and my glum expression was replaced by a serene expression. I closed my eyes and tried feeling my heartbeat... but I could feel nothing.

No heartbeat at all.

I felt like a small feather going with the wind.

No more pain. No more emotions.

An eerie sound broke my deep thoughts. I turned around and found my real body lying in a white bed surrounded by doctors and nurses.

Blood.

My blood was scattered everywhere—on the floor, on the bedsheets, on the doctor's gloves.

"250 joules!" A doctor pressed the defibrillator against my chest, electrifying my lifeless body.

They were trying to save me! They were trying to make me alive! They were trying to make a person alive that would just die two weeks from now!

"No! Stop! Stop! Stop!" I screamed but they did not budge; they did not even throw me a glance! "Stop, don't save that body! Don't revive her!"

I don't want to come back inside that body. Never! I spotted the door and decided to leave—far from my physical body where it would find it difficult to succumb to my wandering soul!

I touched the doorknob but my hand just went through. I tried again, but, still failed.

"Stupid me." There was no way I could touch it. But there was a way I knew I could do it.

Penetrate!

In an instant, I already reached the corridor. Woah. That's amazing!

Lots of doctors and nurses hustled around.

I just kept on walking until I reached the waiting area.

So, this was how it felt to be a ghost?

"You see everything, but nobody sees you!"

I stuck my tongue out to the crying little girl in front of me. She was sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting area, rubbing her eyes.

"Bleh, kid! Bleh!" I waved my hand in front of her face, but she couldn't feel me! Aha! I clapped. It was better to be a ghost! It was better than being a human!

I couldn't feel any pain at all! And I could even wander around without being tired!

"Christine." A body went through me. She sat beside the little girl and tapped her shoulder.

"Hush now, honey. Hush, hush..."

But the little girl just cried more. "If only I had become a good girl and followed you, Mom..."

The woman slumped her shoulders. I could see how she trembled and cried as she embraced her daughter.

"Mommy, is it my fault that she died?" her high-pitch voice sounded broken.

"Is it my fault that she died?" Tears streamed down her cheeks.

The woman hugged her tighter. "No. No. Don't think that it is your fault because she is a hero for saving you," the mother said, but her face was contorted in pain. "She's a hero... she died for a purpose, anak."

While gazing at them, something warm ignited within me. Like a small flame caressing my heart.

"D-don't be guilty," I said in a voice torn between gratitude and pain. "Don't feel sorry for me. Don't also thank me, for I should be the one thanking you, guys, because even at the last minute of my life in this world, you made me realize my worth I have never known before. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful goodbye. Thank you because, even at the last minute, I realized my worth—even if it was too late to realize."

I patted the child's golden hair. "I never thought that I could die for a purpose." I saw my hand in her hair fading away. It kept on blinking, hovering between existing and vanishing.

For one last time, I turned my attention to the crying girl. "Thank you for saving me, child. Because of you... I died for a purpose, and not by poison," I managed to say before I completely melted in the thin air.

***
FACEBOOK: AMARA TACITA
E-MAIL: amaratacita@gmail.com