I'll Wait For You

Four

Light Yagami

"Goodnight, Ryuzaki." 

I laid down knowing that regardless of L's decision I would have to die and if he wasn't willing to do it I would have to write my name myself. Him offering to help me was sweet and all, but he cares for me way more than I deserve.

Being put in jail wouldn't work, Ryuk wouldn't just wait decades for me to die of natural causes when he could do it in a matter of seconds. I've done horrible things and need to be put to death because it's the only thing that can guarantee Ryuzaki being safe from Kira.

I don't want to hurt Ryuzaki at all, but who's to say I won't lose control of myself again? I don't even want to risk it. When I first started killing I completely lost touch with reality, my sanity was buried deep and I didn't even realize the damage I was doing, but now I see it clearly and I know what has to be done, there's only one thing I can do to put and end to this.

I'd come to terms with it all, I would die in order to save Ryuzaki from...myself. It doesn't sound as noble or sentimental as if feels, especially not when you put it like that, but the bottom line is that I truly care for L and I'm willing to die for him. With the harsh information still fresh in my mind I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up at what felt like a few hours later to use the bathroom. I noticed L wasn't still up on his computer like he usually was, being that the room was completely dark. Since he was asleep, I avoided turning on the lights so I wouldn't disturb him. I used my hands to guide me to the bathroom.

Every once in a while, L takes our handcuffs off at night to give our wrists a break since he's often awake whenever I'm asleep for the majority of the night to keep an eye on me anyway, this time though he must've accidentally fallen asleep. So for the time being, I was free to walk without the handcuffs. After I used it I came back on the bed and then reached to get my hand towel that was on the dresser next to the bed. I tossed it back on but instead it fell and hit the floor. I let out a tired sigh then got up and turned on the light so I could see where it was and pick it up. To my surprise, L wasn't on the bed or anywhere else in the room. 

I left our room and went down the halls searching for him, maybe he had decided to take a walk or something. After 4 minutes of wandering around, I saw someone from afar walking towards me.

"Matsuda?"

"Oh hey Light, I wasn't expecting to see you. I assumed your father was going to take you home," he explained to me, confused.

"Wait, why'd you think that?"

"Are you feeling alright?" This time he talked he just sounded concerned.

"What are you talking about?"

"When you went unconscious you must've forgotten-"

"Matsuda where's L? I need to talk to him," I interrupted. Matsuda was acting way weirder than usual and that only added to the fact that I was getting a bad feeling in my gut, something just felt off. 

"Light, he's...gone. He had a heart attack, he didn't make it..."