teenage years. (oc's; louis partridge, jules leblanc, sofia wylie, etc.)

I DONT THINK IM AFRAID, ANYMORE.

**
ava's pov

im reading in my—supposed to be—room right now. or at least i was until my mom walked in.

"what's going on?" she asked as she relunctantly sat down beside me on the bed.

what's up with people and asking me that question? what's going on? aves what's going on? nothing, is going on! it's getting to be a real pain in the—

"why aren't you talking to ethan?" she continued.

how does she know about that? im not making it that obvious, am i? "what do you mean? we are fine." i lied.

"cmon, you might not like me very much anymore.." she paused and scooted a little closer, lowering her voice, "but I'd like to think that you can still confide in me about certain things."

the little girl in me broke when she said that. im so fucking tired. being 'emotionally closed off' is becoming so exhausting. my mom always brings out the child in me and im starting to think it's part of the reason i don't like being around her. i don't think it has much to do with her staying in london but more to do with how much i missed her when she did.

i cleared my throat, "of course." i think i cracked. this is all so complicated.

for a second, im incredibly grateful my mom is able to read me so well when she starts again, "you know.." she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "when your father and i first met, i hated his guts!"

really? i never heard about that. i just always assumed they just fell in love at first sight or something sappy. "no way.." i let out.

"yeah!" she continued, "we met at university. we were forced to hang out when we set up by friends. we spent the entire night ragging on each other and bickering. i was ready to never see him again after that night. i genuinely had no interest in it whatsoever. albeit, i was well aware how attractive your dad was.. i just didn't like his arrogance."

"so how'd you guys end up married with two kids?" i asked, trying not to sound so baffled.

she laughed. a laugh i forgot i missed, "well, we ran into each other on campus one day, a little while after. we ended up locked in the library after hours, alone, might i add. of course we went right back to our bickering, we were in some battle about whose fault it was when he kissed me."

i swiftly hid the faint smile that escaped my lips.

"i let him." she smiled at me, "turns out, your father never hated me at all. he just enjoyed my indifference towards him. your dad was sort of big man on campus at the time and i was one of the very very very few girls who simply 'couldn't stand him.' i didn't know it at the time but i think i enjoyed our witt battles more than i should've."

that's insane. the whole story is. and why is she telling me this now?

she shook her head, "my point is, i know when two people are in denial about their feelings."

i guess this answers my question.

"i don't know exactly what happened between you and ethan but i kept my silence this whole trip. you guys have literally just been staring at each other longingly since you guys came back from the market two weeks ago."

damn. ive been figured out. "im scared." the words leave my mouth before i get a chance to stop them.

"of what?" she asked, softly.

"of getting hurt.. i think?" i took a deep breath and continued, "what if i like open up to him and he doesn't actually want me? you know?"

it's only after i say what's been running through my mind for the two weeks, that i understand what im so afraid of.