The World In Colours

Chapter 5 || Melody Of Despair

What are you wondering?

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Walking through the streets now with her hands buried in the depths of her pockets, Yusarin felt a heavy weight weighing down upon her chest after the mild humiliation she was forced to go through at the Vice-principal's office, not only because she wasn't at fault here, but more so due to an unknown fear clouding her mind and obscuring her vision, preventing her from assessing things the way she normally did.

Her own reputation at school didn't matter to her much, nobody seemed to know her anyway, and the very few who did, wouldn't mind it at all, or at least, that was what she thought. The inability to take control of the situation and allowing her own pride to stoop down low in a long time now, a nagging voice at the back of her mind distracted her thoughts elsewhere.

That voice...

Fully convinced that it was nothing more than just her imagination and fantasy fooling her once again for an umpteenth time, to surrender to the arms of dense, shadowed and darkened speculation through which even light couldn't permeate, those arms which appeared so delusional and yet too tempting to give in, promising to catch her in their velvety covers but through which she would eventually fall through and hit the ground instead, her demise being inevitable. It was more as if she was desperately trying to convince herself to believe the fact that she couldn't have known the voice, that this was indeed her first time being exposed to those sharp, grey eyes and that gravelly, stone-hard voice which she had to endure straight for an hour.

But the alas, how foolish the human heart is! It makes up illusory stories to satisfy it's craving for something surreal, creating it's own delusional world about itself, never ceasing to make mistakes. That voice, those voices, continued with their repetitive hammering within her head, telling her, begging her to turn away from her ignorance and grasp the clue which she was delivered by fate, to trust herself a little more.

But can a falsifier even trust themselves?

Bringing up a gloved hand from her pocket to support her pounding head, aiming to provide momentary relief from the ongoing set of bizarre events occurring today, she untangled a soft breath, the sound of which sounded so foreign to her ears. Staying in the pits of darkness for so long, she had almost completely forgotten that even breathing could be so blissful.

Feeling herself being swayed away by her feet on the instructions of her mind, she hadn't noticed yet, how late it already was. The cool breeze of the outdoors, the sun almost completely out of sight, the moon visible in the navy blue sky tinted orange at the skyline, she hurried her way down the streets blindly, the streets she was now oddly familiar with like the back of her hand.

And yet, she couldn't help but think about that one hour she spent in the office room today. Forgetting the question of embarrassment, she wasn't occupied with that. Instead, the entire time that she was confined within the chilled walls of the room, she kept her head hung low, her eyes being focused on the mosaic floor there, trying to match the voice aimed at her to the one which she heard years ago, the voice which she remembered and cherished once, and now repulsed with every single fibre of her very being.

The continual honking of the cars faded away against the white noise ruling her mind, the static sound, like some broken signal, consuming her, dragging her into an abyss of conflictions which she didn't knew resolve, disrupting the inner peace which she so loved, not that she ever had it anyways. With the moon slowly rising up the sky, the summer wind around her cooled by the befalling night, a little sad now, but that was enough to keep her on her feet to get to her destination.