Starry Eyed

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-One

Parties at quiet little boarding schools with prestigous repuatations and spotless records to uphold are certainly not as explosive as the cool teen high school ones you see on TV. Private school really takes the kick out of that sort of thing. And yet, this party still felt as foreign and dangerous as those riots in the movies seemed from my sofa back home. Star was a seasoned pro, talking away with anyone and everyone, looking as relaxed as she would have been in her own dormitory studying, or in a comfortable private place. James didn't seem phased either; he fell back into routine far too easily for me to be able to grasp. I must have seemed a bit strange; every now and again, people would catch my eye and pull a face, wondering why that creepy new kid was watching them all like they were on a screen. I glanced away hurriedly and tried to do that weird socialising thing.

Since I only really knew Kale and Audrey when Star and James were away (and that douchey August snapback guy), I was feeling understandably uncomfortable. I kind of flailed around on the spot, nudging towards one person and then deciding better of it. My socially awkwardness just seemed to increase by the day. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to go and talk to Kale. He was conversing with somebody I didn't recognise, but hey, you never know if you never try.

"Hey, Kale," I said, trying to sound cool and relaxed. The guy he was talking to looked a little shocked that I'd just stormed on in and butted into their conversation. "Sorry to interrupt," I added hastily. "I just have no friends."

Kale and the guy I didn't recognise gave me a very puzzled look, as if they couldn't decide whether to think I was drunk or just a freak. I laughed unsteadily, and then they seemed to realize it was a joke. Of course, it actually hadn't been, but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"Hey, Luca," Kale said, casual as ever now I'd managed to sort of break the ice, in my own special way. "This is my friend Will. Will, this is Star's friend Luca. James' roommate."

"Hey," Will said, looking a little calmer now, although I could tell he still thought I was pretty weird. "Cool to meet you."

"Sure." It was a super dumb thing to say. He raised his eyebrows, and I forced another nervous laugh, which seemed to make them believe again that my social failures were just very bad jokes. It was a better tactic than letting them in on the secret that I actually did totally suck at talking, though, so I went with it too.

"I heard you've never been to a party before," Kale grinned. It sounds meaner now, on paper, than it did at the time. I grinned back at him, shrugging and probably looking a little embarassed.

"Just never really been into that sort of thing." This disguise was only half true. 

"Of course not," Will agreed, making it sound teasing, but not nasty. "You'll probably find this a little less wild than the stuff they show on telly, huh?"

"I have noticed that, yeah," I said with a laugh. "No music, even. You guys just aren't hardcore enough."

"Gotta watch it when there's this many of us all locked in one tiny dorm at night," Kale shrugged. "I mean, Star knows this particular day's all good for partying and stuff, but you can never be too careful. Besides, anyone could dob us in if they heard anything. Nark on us for being too loud and that's it."

 Pretending to be one of the cool kids, I nodded in agreement, and then suddenly Will had passed me a beer. I stared at it stupidly, taken by surprise. In all honesty I wasn't even sure how you crack off the bottle cap thing to start off. I looked up at Will.

"Your hands were empty," he shrugged. "And you can't leave some massive boarding school party completely sober, can you?"

Understanding that he wasn't making fun of me and instead was trying to give me a little fun tonight, I laughed as I wrestled with the bottle cap. Thankfully, I managed to unscrew it without making a complete fool of myself, although my fingers were callused once I'd gotten the damn thing off. With Kale and Will staring, silently daring me to drink it, I tipped the bottle back and took a swig. It was a big gulp, because I was trying to look all macho and cool. The liquid tasted bitter, all prickly and sour on my tounge. I couldn't really see the appeal in the stuff; it tasted foul. But then again, I couldn't remember anything after starting to drink the other night. Perhaps the beauty in beer was that it blocked things out. People would pay anything to feel numb for a little while.