Jenny

Four.

I stood awkwardly by her lonely locker, waiting for Jenny to show, with no such luck. People looked at me weirdly as they passed by. Some looked like they felt sorry for the fat lonely kid all alone. But the bell rang and I no longer had to worry about it as I hurried along with the crowd to get to class.

Jenny never showed the entire class period and the next after that. I was unable to focus all day. What if something happened to her? It would be all my fault. Why didn't you watch her better? Ugh. I tapped my foot nervously at lunch, almost completely drained of sanity I held in my head about Jenny.

My peanut butter and jelly sandwich suddenly seemed less edible as it sat uneaten in front of me. That was when the cafeteria door opened and in came a completely drained and hung-over Jenny. I was filled with the greatest wave of relief.

Jenny was dressed in a baggy sweatshirt that obviously wasn't hers and tattered running shorts, and judging by her messy hair and sloppy makeup, it was easy to tell where she came from. She looked awful and the lights above her made the shadows under her eyes deeper. There were a couple laughs in her direction and whispers flew around the room and quickly brought back loud conversation. But Jenny was too hung-over to even notice them.

The chair squeaked loudly when she sat down next to me. Jenny put her swollen eyes in her hands, a look of annoyance growing on her face. "Does everyone have to be so loud?" she grumbled, rubbing her temples.

I sat there awkwardly, unsure of what to say to her next. I opened my mouth to say something, to try and make her feel better than she was, but she had already stood up and started angrily towards the double doors. This time, as my heart felt like it weighed twice as much as I did, I followed her. All eyes were on me and I could hear the whispers they spoke as if they were yelling at me. "Aw, he thinks he has a chance with Slutty Jenny" one girl said to a perky blonde one with makeup like a clown. "Look at him run," another chuckled. "Run?" the other girl laughed in reply. I ignored them as I followed Jenny out into the hallway.

She turned around to find me following her. There was a look of annoyance strong on her face. "Rowie really? Don't try and make me go back in there. You really just need to let things be sometime." She waited for me to respond.

My heart felt even heavier now and it seemed as if it would fill up the capacity in my chest and burst right through me. I knew there was so much truth to her words and that's what made it so hurtful. But when I tried to say something, she just rolled her eyes and flitted on down the hall.

I knew she had just said to leave her alone, but I followed her anyway, slower this time. She seemed to know I was there, but she said nothing as she walked faster. She turned the corner, and it was no surprise that she turned into the girl's bathroom.

"Jenny I -"I tried to say before she turned quickly and cut me off.

"Rowie please," she looked more sympathetic this time. "You need to understand how to give people some space sometimes. You try to tell yourself that you can change people, but honestly, Rowie, some people are just too far gone." She turned and disappeared into the bathroom.

As I turned around, a teacher eyed me through the classroom window as if to say, don't even think about following Slutty Jenny into that girl's bathroom, Rowald Roads, or I'll suspend you and your genitals." I stepped away from the door to make it clear I wasn't looking for trouble. I thought about waiting for Jen to come out, but after a couple minutes I gave up and trudged back to the loud cafeteria alone again. Nothing was exactly different from most other days, and I had no choice but to be okay with that.

Maybe it sounded so cliché, but my love for Jenny McRives was driving me to sheer insanity. I had no choice but to be okay with that, and I was quite okay with that.