Tagged and Randoms

My Memory Pictures Wish

Sometimes I wish I could take pictures of myself outside of my body. sometimes i'll be doing something or i'll remember something I've done and wish I could take a picture of myself in that moment. I wish I could step out of my body for a minute, take a picture and be able to enjoy that moment in its whole from afar.

I can see them in my mind.

There's one of me and my friend out at our other friends cabin dancing in the rain and watching the lightning turn the night sky into an electric purple like I've never seem before.

There's one of me simply in a zoom meeting on a rainy day gazing out my solarium window from my dining room table surrounded by my science homework.

There's one of me walking around the school track by my house in one of my favourite skirts singing to myself and holding one of my grandmothers giant old golf umbrellas as I try not to drop my phone in a puddle or completely soak my skirt by holding it in another hand.

There's one of me walking across that same track with heavy bags of school supplies in each arm as I walk home from my last day in school in that building that was so nice to me and gave me wonderful memories.

There are so many of me with my friends in various situations like on spirit week in grade 8 when we danced to old town road in our meme outfits in the atrium and people had to go around us and started filming us, or at the french christian sleep away camp I went to with one of my friends a few years back, where all the English kids banded together and we would all talk for hours at the end of the day, and snack on the chips we brought from home and play old fugly maid. Or the time one of my friends and me ran to my home and crossed the school field while it was raining and we were trying not to step in geese poop and laughing our heads off.

There's one of me sitting in my window watching the rain hit it as I listen to music and read taken from my doorway that makes me look so small and at peace in my mind.

This one is kinda weird to me but still gives me a sense of serenity. There's one of me looking at the thick grey fog on the track from upstairs when I was 3 and leaving for daycare with my mom in the early morning. Not that long ago, I got hit with a wave of déjà vu when the same damp fog rolled in and covered the track and I saw the same thing I saw all those years ago. The setting was the same but the pictures are from different angles and places and i'm 13 years older in the newer one. I remember loving it because it because it helped me breathe and felt good to inhale the moisture and it smelled fresh like rain had stopped like the world had frozen in place and I could take a breath.

These moments are so mundane and normal and alive and they breathe life into the simplicity of my life like lungs. I can't draw or do art for my life so I wish I could print these images from my head so I could have physical coy of them and be able to show them to others and cherish them like that.