i don't know

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i don't know why people leave, or why she left. i don't have the answer as to why she couldn't stay. i don't know why it hurts so much. but i know the pain, the pain you get in the back of your throat as you clench your jaw, holding back tears. the feeling you get in your gut when they tell you the bad news. the sadness that stirs in the back of your mind and starts to consume you. i know what it's like to have to lose someone, to lose the light that made your world so much better, to have that someone ripped from your grasp..in just a matter of seconds. it hurts. and a hell of a lot too. you just feel so empty and lost without that person, that person that made you realize how wonderful life could be, and when they're gone, you can't seem to get up in the mornings anymore. your world crashes, it crumbles, it becomes lonely and dark. i know how it feels to be lost without that someone whom had made your life so full. it gets harder everyday, you just wish you could see them again. once you realize that you won't, not really. it breaks you. it breaks you even more, than it had before. you just wish you could've done more, you wish that you could take their place and give them a longer, happier life. losing that person crushes you. but she wasn't just a person, she was one of those rare people. the rare kind of person who was always kind, who always laughed, she was the extraordinarily rare person who saw the good in everything. and that just makes losing her so much worse. what do i mean by worse? it's worse than all the aches and pains of broken bones, worse than all the bruises and breaks from an accident, worse than losing your breath at the sting of cold water. losing her was worse than dying.

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