Miss Personality

How to Hang On

The next morning, Quincy and I were just lounging around in the hotel room when an idea popped into my head.

"Hey, Quin. I was just thinking about this whole future thing. What do you think it would be like if I was a big YouTuber and you were a big author? We could do a collaborative book. That would be insane."

I expected him to jump right on board, but he faltered before smiling back at me.

"Uh, ya, that would be really cool."

"You don't sound excited at all. It seems like I'm making you go to some bingo night for 90 year old's."

"It's just.. That seems kind of long term. I've been meaning to say, I feel like you're looking too far into the future. You're imagining all this potential, and I just don't know if it can happen. I just don't want to get your hopes up."

"Hey, Quincy, I think you already did. And who says its too far in the future? We love each other don't we?"

"Hey. Mags. We're only nineteen. I know we have been traveling, and it seems like we are these strong and independent adults. But we aren't. We're both inexperienced, and I'm worried that if we did something now, it could mess up the rest of our lives. I don't want that to happen."

"Well what are we supposed to do now if we aren't learning how this world works? You think all authors and YouTubers start at adults who have graduated from college?!"

Quincy sighs. "I know some of them just went on their merry way into these fields, but don't you want a backup plan? something to fall back on if you on YouTube doesn't blow up? If people don't like whatever the heck I'm writing?"

"Quincy, I do, but I want to be a free spirit. I want to follow my own path and I want to follow it with you."

"Mags.. We need a backup. I know you want everything to just fall into place, but being raised how I was, I know that it won't be. It might seem like everything is perfect, but there are some things about me that you just don't know. My deepest, darkest secrets and fears.. I haven't told anyone them. I need a reliable person, and while your personality and happiness is reliable, maybe your practicality isn't.. And I don't know exactly what that means for us, but I think that we might need to spend some time apart so that we can come back together as inseparable and perfect together."

"If we are really meant to be together, it will work itself out," I whisper.

But what if I want us to be inseparable and perfect now? What if I don't want to be away from him, just to realize that I need him?

What if I want to show him that what we have doesn't need tested? That it's already perfect? That I don't want to leave the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with?

What if I want to marry him?