How To Get a Boyfriend 101

16 : Monday

"Okay, hold up," Blake says, sitting on my bed. "So Russell actually admitted to liking me?"

"Yeah, but you still have a ways to go before he does something about it."

Blake observes me. That's the only way to put it, unless I want to say that he studies me like a dissected frog on the science table. Which is not something I want to say. He nods and goes to my kitchenette. "Do you have mangos?" he asks, rummaging through it. "Aha! I found one. Now, for the peanut butter..."

I want to gag. Who eats mangos with peanut butter? Then, I remember Step Two. Yikes. I also remember that Blake read the book, so he knows about that horrendous food combo.

"Blake, are you out of your mind?"

He hisses at me and takes a bite of the poison. "I've already tried this, you know. It was a few days ago, maybe less than a week? I think it was Tuesday."

Yeah, Blake, that's great. He had the mango-peanut butter thing, and the next day he was insanely sick. Coincidence? I think not.

"Give me a bite." No, I don't want to eat it. No, I don't want to be sick. Yes, I do want to miss school.

"No can do," he says. "It's a delicacy. You'll have to pay."

"You took the ingredients from my kitchenette!"

He shrugs and finishes it off. I can practically hear his white blood cells dying.

"So, are you going to Amanda's party?" Blake asks, changing the subject. Amanda is the oldest one in our FROG group, so it makes sense that if there would be a party, she'd host it. Still—that kind of thing is something I'd expect to hear from Amanda, not from Blake.

"Amanda's party? Since when has that been a thing?" I say, moving closer to him. Maybe I'll catch some of his sickness and won't have to go to school.

Blake wrinkles his nose, trying to remember. I think it's kind of cute. If I didn't like Jason, and if Blake didn't like Russell, I would elope with Blake to Las Vegas. I think I've mentioned that before. "Yesterday, I think around noon. She texted the FROG chat."

I shrug. "Nah, I didn't see it. I rarely check the chat, because you and Zoe spam it so much. Pictures and sentences that are sent one message at a time are a little bothersome."

"Well, you're missing out on some quality memes, bro. Your loss."

No, I don't think so, Blake. But okay, whatever helps you sleep at night. "Anyway, what's this about a party?"

"Oh, yeah! We're getting together at Amanda's house this Saturday. At, like, four in the afternoon, because her parents are leaving at three, and she needs an hour to set up. It's gonna be just us—we?"

"I don't know, either."

Blake sticks his tongue out at me. "So, what's today's step?"

It occurs to me that I actually haven't read it today. I don't know; maybe, I just wasn't expecting to need it. Although, I didn't think I'd need it yesterday, either. And I kind of did. But not really. I used the step on someone else, but whatever.

"Step Sixteen," Blake begins. "Don't argue with him. While this might seem like a no-brainer, it can actually be very hard sometimes!"

He pauses, raising an eyebrow at me. "I don't remember this one."

I wave my hand at him, gesturing for him to continue. He shrugs.

"If you have opposing views, talk about them maturely or avoid the subject. DO NOT get angry at him, and DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, let him get angry at you."